To Friends !

There are 365 (or so) days in a year and most of them are taken to celebrate one relationship or another, one emotion or another, one occasions or another. From fathers, to mothers, to brothers, to sisters, to friends and other relatives, there is a day of the year dedicated to celebrating them and the bond we share with them. Some of these days like Valentine's day are actually taken very seriously and cause quite a stir in the lives of many people. 

While many people celebrate these days with a special something - a gesture, a token of appreciation, a small wish, there are many others, the so called skeptics or cynics who brand the whole idea of dedicating days to relationships as a mere propaganda by the commercial companies, a capitalist manifesto of companies retailing gifts, cakes, flowers and cards.

I am a romantic at heart but I still dislike the idea of dedicating (just) a day in a year to people who are special to me. I'd rather do something special when I truly, deeply feel like it, on a random day of the year than when the world dictates. But then there are others who rightly say that in the fast-paced monotony of daily existence, we often forget to acknowledge those who matter to us; and that these days are an opportunity for us to stop and say what we have always meant to but just never gotten down to. 

I still don't subscribe to the thought of waiting for a day in the year to celebrate my friends or my family. And so I celebrate them whenever i can - day or no-day ! 

Today was a day of gratitude for my friends, who have brought me a lot of great memories and a lot of happiness. They have changed me and conserved me, scolded me and pampered me, laughed with me (and laughed at me ;P) and cried with me - all in good measure and I have always felt lucky to have them in my life. 

Love you, guys !

To Friends...

Quicksands and pools...

"Life is what we make of it."

"When in an unpleasant situation, work to get out of it."

"You make your life how you want it to be. Do not give up."

"If you want to change things, you have to do something."

"Throw them into the water and they shall learn to swim."

Sane advice - every one of them. Right ? 

I certainly have heard them plenty and have in turn passed the word around. 

I have said these words in my head and pushed myself to keep going - time after time. 

Every time, I was ready to give up or every time things seemed too much to deal with - too painful, to scary, too confusing and too disheartening... 

Every time all hope seemed lost, every effort seemed wasted, I have said these words to myself and cried myself to sleep. I have then woken up with swollen eyes only to make another start and to carry on. I have found hope every time circumstances forced me to abandon it. I have struggled without giving up. I have walked and walked when all I wanted to was to sleep and never wake up. I have gotten up and forged ahead when all seemed lost, with the hope that "this too shall pass". I have worked my way out of problems and proudly so !

But some days are different. Some days and some problems do not go away with mere effort and struggle. I see that now. I know now that some problems are like quicksand - they drag you faster the more you struggle. The more you try to change things, the most entangled you become and the deeper you sink. To survive them, you need to be able to bite the bullet and stay still. You need to bide your time and stay calm - waiting for the water to dry or for help to come. It doesn't need stoic courage, determination, persistence or even a mortal fight. It needs inaction. It needs tolerance and patience. 

Sometimes, not doing anything is the right thing to do. But strangely, no one teaches us that ! And no one learns about a quicksand beforehand. When we fall into it, we only think of saving ourselves from drowning. We flail our arms and legs, we battle and we rage... only to sink our selves deeper. We tire our self and loose all hope when all that was needed was some passive inaction. 

I wish I knew the quicksands from the pools. I wish i knew when to struggle and when to just let go. I wish i knew when to charge ahead and when to patiently wait. I wish I could stop struggling and just accept some things for what they are. 

I wish I could.