Parsing the phrase code - Part II

Sometime back, I had written a post about some typically Indian phrases or Indianisms (as they are called) which I encountered during my interactions in the States. Strange as it may sound, I never realized the existence of such Indianisms while in India. Although I did encounter them occasionally, none of these "Indianisms" were rampantly used (but for a couple), at least by my acquaintances. But then, once i realized their existence, confirmational bias kicked in and I was paying attention to other such "phrases" that are cultural in origin. It is perhaps through such confirmational bias that i chanced upon this article on CNNgo.com.

Written by Daniel DMello, this article lists out some of the commonly used Indianisms. Although, I wasn't ecstatic with the language and quality of the article, it was interestingly written and it did bring a few laughs prompting me to share it here.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10 classic Indianisms: 'Doing the needful' and more indianisms

"Do one thing...take this piece of chalk..."

We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do.

Take greetings for example.

A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym. Bizarre.

I call these Indianisms.

Which got me thinking about a compilation, a greatest hits of the 10 most hilarious Indianisms out there. And here they are. The most common ones, and my favorites among them.

1. 'Passing out'

When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution.You do not "pass out" from that institution.

To "pass out" refers to losing consciousness, like after you get too drunk, though I’m not sure how we managed to connect graduating and intoxication.

Oh wait … of course, poor grades throughout the year could lead to a sudden elation on hearing you’ve passed all of your exams, which could lead to you actually "passing out," but this is rare at best.

2. 'Kindly revert'

One common mistake we make is using the word revert to mean reply or respond.

Revert means "to return to a former state."

I can’t help thinking of a sarcastic answer every time this comes up.

“Please revert at the earliest.”

“Sure, I’ll set my biological clock to regress evolutionarily to my original primitive hydrocarbon state at 1 p.m. today."

3. 'Years back'

If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not "years back."

Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched "ago" for "back" probably did it years back. See what I mean?

And speaking of "back," asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.

“So when did you buy this car?”

“Oh, years back.”

“Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”

4. 'Doing the needful'

Try to avoid using the phrase "do the needful." It went out of style decades ago, about the time the British left.

Using it today indicates you are a dinosaur, a dinosaur with bad grammar.

You may use the phrase humorously, to poke fun at such archaic speech, or other dinosaurs.

“Will you do the needful?”

“Of course, and I’ll send you a telegram to let you know it's done too.”

5. 'Discuss about'

“What shall we discuss about today?”

“Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”

You don't "discuss about" something; you just discuss things.

The word "discuss" means to "talk about". There is no reason to insert the word "about" after "discuss."

That would be like saying "talk about about." Which "brings about" me to my next peeve.

6. 'Order for'

"Hey, let’s order for a pizza."

"Sure, and why not raid a library while we’re about it.”

When you order something, you "order" it, you do not "order for" it.

Who knows when or why we began placing random prepositions after verbs?

Perhaps somewhere in our history someone lost a little faith in the "doing" word and added "for" to make sure their order would reach them. They must have been pretty hungry.

7. 'Do one thing'

When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing," you're doing it wrong.

"Do one thing" is a phrase that does not make sense.

It is an Indianism. It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. It is irritating.

There are better ways to begin a reply. And worst of all, any person who starts a sentence with "do one thing" invariably ends up giving you at least five things to do.

“My computer keeps getting hung.”

“Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hardrive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer... .”

8. 'Out of station'

“Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.”

“What a coincidence, Vijay, I’m in a station right now.”

Another blast from the past, this one, and also, extremely outdated.

What's wrong with "out of town" or "not in Mumbai" or my favorite "I'm not here"?

9. The big sleep

"I’m going to bed now, sleep is coming."

"OK, say hi to it for me."

While a fan of anthropomorphism, I do have my limits. "Sleep is coming" is taking things a bit too far.

Your life isn’t a poem. You don’t have to give body cycles their own personalities.

10. 'Prepone'

“Let’s prepone the meeting from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.”

Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right?

"Prepone" is probably the most famous Indianism of all time; one that I’m proud of, and that I actually support as a new entry to all English dictionaries.

Because it makes sense. Because it fills a gap. Because we need it. We’re Indians, damn it. Students of chaos theory.

We don’t have the time to say silly things like "could you please bring the meeting forward."

Prepone it is.

There are many more pure grammatical "gems" in what we call Indian English. Perhaps in time I’ll list some more. And perhaps in the near future, we’ll get better at English.

Till then, kindly adjust.

http://www.cnngo.com/mumbai/life/10-indianisms-652344

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I went through the list, I couldn't recall hearing some of them in India. However some like out of station, pre-pone, do the needful and revert back were relatively common.

Now, this might sound a little lowbrow and non-scholarly but I certainly don't see much reason for the writer to say that Indians can hope to get better at English. Let me clarify my stand here. Language is a mode of communication and like all other things evolves and changes with time, under the influence of a multitude of factors. There is probably no absolute right when it comes to certain aspects of a language. If the Oxford english dictionary deems it fit to include new words from across cultures, then, why should Indians strive for imitating the British or the American style of English? Now, I don't mean that we abandon the rules of grammar and spelling and write to suit our whims and fancies but I honestly don't see a reason for us to not have any "Indianisms". All cultures have their own words and ways of expressing. There is diversity in usage of similes, slang, phrases and proverbs. The British have it. The Americans have it as do the Singaporeans. And there is no reason to think that one version or another of the language is more appropriate. After all, the language itself has evolved from Shakespeare to Shakira...

Now, I see that the slope I am treading on is slippery but I just wanted to voice an alternative opinion. I am not condoning bad grammar or bad spelling but i certainly don't see any reason to be ashamed of these Indianisms as some of them are genuinely practical and useful (like the word "Pre-pone"). While I had my reservations about the article, I was happy to see the author mention the existence of more such "gems" in Indian English. I certainly am looking forward to seeing some of these new gems in Mr Daniel's future articles.

The web of life ....

Somewhere a tiny bud had opened its eyes and was seeing the world for what it was for the first time. As he felt the gentle breeze and the glorious sun, he stood there smiling. He was happy. He could feel the pulse and the rhythm of life.

And then he noticed the big blossoms next to him and he was intimidated by them.
He looked at his tiny, shriveled self and then glanced at the blooming, bright petals that danced around him. He saw the bees ignoring him as they hovered around the bigger and brighter flowers. He wondered if he would ever become like them - bright, colorful and fragrant? Even as he stood admiring them, the older blossoms stood staring at him, envious of his youth. While, they were counting the hours that lay ahead of them, they knew that he had many more sunrises coming his way. They knew he had a lot to live for and lot to fight for.

And thus, all the flowers of the garden stood wondering about their future, envious of the lives of others and completely unaware of the twists and turns of fate.

The tiny bud would probably never know how important a role he would play in changing so many lives. He wouldn't know how he would help a young man declare his love to the lady of his dreams and how because of him, two lives had come together to begin a single journey. He would probably never know his impact on their world.

He, like the other flowers would probably never know his impact on the world. As they all sat there together, envious of each other, wondering about their purpose in life or their future in this world, they were unable to see the roles they had played. Some flowers had marked the beginning of a life, while some had marked an end. Some were silent witnesses to our lives reminding us of life as it was. Some brought joy and comfort while some heralded a sense of quiet and peace. From births to funerals, those flowers were a part of our life and they were oblivious to the many ways in which they had changed our worlds. Unbeknownst to them, they had all made a difference.

Like the flowers, we too are perhaps limited by our vision and our perspectives. We fail to appreciate our true impact on this world. Like that tiny bud, we too play these many tiny parts every day in setting the wheels of fate in motion, of altering lives and of making a difference.

We can never see these influences but a lot of our choices impact others and many of their choices, impact us. We fail to see those invisible links that hold us all together in this complex web of life. Our lives are interconnected with so many other lives in this one vast tangle that it is sometimes difficult to find the single thread that belongs to you and to pull it apart from all the other lives. Even as we struggle with our daily battles, we fail to see a bigger picture. A picture where we are all a part of one cosmic whole, where everyone affects everyone else in however small a way it maybe. Our lives are a result of many coincidences, random events and occurrences, some of which were beyond our individual control.

As our lives face the winds of time and fate, we leave behind these tiny pieces. As we learn new lessons and unlearn the old ones, we leave behind these pieces of ourselves. Some from the surrounding crowd, pick up these pieces and move ahead with them as lessons to pass on. While some run over our lives in complete oblivion. But one way or another, the crowd makes us a part of their lives and it becomes an extension of ours.

And while we may never be able to gain a complete perspective of this complex web, it pays to reflect, once in a while on this grand scale of events, where everyone impacts everyone else in some small measure or another.

This is a poem that I have posted before but it is something that beautifully illustrates what I have been attempting to say.

Candles

If on your grandmother's birthday you burn a candle
To honor her memory, you might think of burning an extra
To honor the memory of someone who never met her,
A man who may have come to the town she lived in
Looking for work and couldn't find it.
Picture him taking a stroll one morning,
After a wasted month with the want ads,
To refresh himself in the park before moving on.
Suppose he notices on the gravel path the shards
Of a green glass bottle that your grandmother,
Then still a girl, will be destined to step on
When she wanders barefoot away from her school picnic
If he doesnt stoop down and scoop the mess up
With the want-ad section and carry it to a trash can.

For you to burn a candle for him
You needn't suppose the cut would be a deep one,
Just deep enough to keep her at home
The night of the hayride when she meets Helen,
Who is soon to become her dearest friend;
Whose brother George, thirty years later,
Helps your grandfather with a loan so his shoe store
Doesn't go under in the Great Depression
And his son, your father, is able to stay in school
Where his love of learning is fanned into flames,
A love he labors, later, to kindle in you.

How grateful you are for your father's efforts
Is shown by the candles you've burned for him.
But today, for a change, why not a candle
For the man whose name is unknown to you?
Take a moment to wonder whether he died at home
With friends and family or alone on the road,
With noone to sit at his bedside
And hold his hand, the very hand
It's time for you to imagine holding.

---- Carl Dennis

And such are the ways of life.
Such are the ways in which we make or break lives - unaware of the true impact of our actions...

A six month "anniversary" ???

Milestones are just ordinary days, steps or numbers ! But somehow in our heads, they mark a point in time and they offer us an opportunity to pause and reflect on the time that went by...

In my case, its been six months !

Six months from my big move to the US. It doesn't feel like half a year went by but strangely it does feel like I've grown in these six months (and not physically). Now that the dust of the move to the new place and the frantic pace of action has settled, its probably a good time to take stock of the new place and its people. Of things i love, of things i hate, of things i miss and of things i see.

Some of the things i noticed in my first few days still stand out in my head. I've grown used to some others and i am noticing a few as time is chugging along.

- One thing i really liked when i first came to the US were the friendly smiles and the casual banter that would be floating around in the air even when everyone is a stranger. This was quite unlike India in some ways where people are taught to be wary of strangers. There wouldn't be any greetings or smiles exchanged unless you knew someone beforehand. No hello's, good morning's, good day's or thank you's exchanged between passengers on the bus and the driver. Back home, people would rarely chat you up just like that. It took me a while to get used to it but i did like it.

But with time i see that there is also a studied indifference that lies underneath that veneer of friendliness. People tend to mind their own businesses and don't interfere in your own unless expressly asked. A bit of a change again because in India, even a small angry-sounding exchange would collect a crowd of people offering to help. Sometimes people would be all over you even when all you wanted was to be left alone. But now that I am here, i miss it sometimes. I miss the fact that seeing me sporting a lost expression on the streets in India would have prompted someone to come and inquire but here, no one really cares !

- The discipline on the roads is probably something i've truly seen here for the first time. It was such a surprise to see drivers wait for pedestrians and for other drivers to cross or change lanes. On Indian roads, driving was almost always accompanied by a sense of fear and ruthlessness. Fear that someone would emerge from the next intersection without a warning at high speeds or that someone would just turn/change lanes without an indication. And fear, that your car maybe the next victim of the many cases of road accidents that fill the newspaper's local news. Here however, people drive with the premise that the rules will be adhered to and back home, the premise was that there are no rules ! Driving was certainly an exercise for a sharp mind there, with the multitudes of cars, the drivers perennially in a rush and the many U-turns, intersections and one-ways that would leave you guessing if the road back home would be the same !!

- The re-cycle mania and eco-consciousness : in parallel with energy consumption !
I don't know if this is a trend all over US but certainly in CA, I see a lot of people talking about recycling. There are segregated waste bins, cans almost everywhere. Very commendable, right ? But with that, I also see and increased consumption of resources. Massive wastage of paper towels, tissues, napkins, printing papers, paper cups, plastic cutlery... the list goes on. Almost everything is disposable here - from containers for food to napkins and towels. And everything is used generously to maintain hygiene. Quite unlike India where costs would determine the products used and people would mostly use stainless steel cutlery, handkerchiefs, towels, napkins etc all of which can be washed and reused.

Power consumption is another drain. Labs and offices do not seem to switch of their computers, lights and air conditioning units. Unlike in India, where most people and establishments would try and cut infrastructure costs through a reduction in power consumption. And contrary to what one would expect seeing such a lifestyle, people talk of conservation, recycling, waste-segregation etc etc. Quite a wasteful exercise really from my viewpoint.

- And then the point of disabled-friendly society: This is actually a very serious subject and my citing it here would probably trivialize the magnitude of it but i love the way the roads, the buses, the offices, parking lots are all designed to help the physically challenged. No poor people unable to afford crutches or wheel chairs. No poor people relying on external help. I have seen many a disable person leading a life as close to normal as it possible can be with their dignity intact. There are ramps on road crossings and offices, securements in buses, elevators in offices, fully automated and motorized wheelchairs which enable people to do all their activities almost independently. It is incredible to event think of how far behind we are when it comes to certain social policies such as these.

- An endangered work-force: One of the first things one sees in the US is the dearth of manual labor. Most things which would be done with human involvement back home would be automated here. From car washes to fuel pumps, from parking slots to newspaper vending stalls, equipments are designed to minimize human involvement. Importance is given to ergonomics and labor efficient work. Use of trolleys, cranes, wheels, pulleys - almost anything and everything to facilitate work and to prevent physical damage to the people involved. This is quite unusual for someone from a developing country where labor is the only thing in vast surplus. Employers usually don't care about the security, comfort or health of the employee. As much work as could be, was humanly executed - from carrying bricks on head in dangerous construction sites to mowing lawns.... instrumentation was almost always kept at bay.

- The sense of security on the streets : This is something where I could be biased and wrong as my opinions are limited to this narrow stretch of CA where i live but from what i see, most men and women feel secure when they step out of the house. Unlike in India where women (and even men these days) sometimes feel threatened when they step out in the evenings especially if they are sporting a trendy look... here none of it seems to matter. Men or women are almost treated equally. I say 'almost' because there are always some people who recognize certain inherent differences and i honestly don't mind it. In my view men and women are different creatures but equal nonetheless. I was amazed when I first saw students, men and women, coming back at midnight and wee hours of morning without a fear in their mind.

- The "frozen" culture: This is something that almost anyone would immediately associate with an American way of life. The ubiquitous nature of pre-cooked, frozen/fast food. For the most part of my life in India, food was always freshly prepared. In fact, a lot of older people i knew used to eat food which was only cooked on the same day. Not even storing in the fridge worked for them! Here however, almost everything was available in processed, partially cooked form. It is definitely not a healthy way of living but it helps people who are struggling to keep pace with their lives. This also translated into altered definitions of cooking. While to an American, putting something into the microwave to heat/ re/fully-cook would also qualify as cooking, to an antediluvian like me, nothing is cooking till I start from the veggies and the spices and do almost all of it on my own.

- The GM crops... ??
Now this is one of the first things that would hit you if you compare the groceries, fruits and veggies in the US and back home in India. Somehow they are all much, much bigger here. And much better looking and shinier. In India, going vegetable shopping was usually a testament to your kitchen skills. Picking out the choicest tomatoes (ripe but not rotten), the choicest okra (tender and not firm) or the choicest grapes - it was all a skill. Everything involved constant picking and choosing. Unlike here where all the fruits and veggies are bigger than what i was ever used to and they are all of uniformly good quality. One never need to think about which one to pick. It will always be a uniform pool... And there is hardly a rotten apple in the basket.. :)

- The south-east Asian influence: Now this is somewhat of a global phenomenon but its presence is most felt in the US. Almost all the products you pick will have a Chinese or a Korean origin. From clothes and cosmetics to electricals and electronics, the Chinese have infiltrated every industry in the US. While one would notice a trend in India, one would still see an Indian brandname like a Philips or a Videocon branding the products even though the spare parts maybe manufactured in china. But here in the US, that charade of domestic manufacture is no longer an indulgence. The people too show a similar bias. The number of students of Chinese origin in the US far outnumbers that from any other country. I point this out only as an observation and not something based on concrete research but to my mind this seems like more of a trend than a sporadic local phenomenon.

- The desserts: For someone like me who has a wicked sweet tooth, India was a little challenging. The desserts I would like - the chocolatey, fudge and ice cream based bitter-sweet combos would all be the non-local forms there and would therefore be more expensive and difficult to get. Here of course, tarts, pies, cakes, cookies are abundant and omnipresent. It is almost impossible to resist them but I am indulging right now in the hope that eventually boredom would set in. I sure hope that the hope is justified because otherwise, atherosclerosis and diabetes may not be far behind... ;)

- The drinking syndrome: US is probably symbolized the world over with Coke and Pepsi. And justifiably so. Aerated drinks seem to be the biggest component of an American diet. From mid meal breaks to meal accompaniments, aerated drinks form the beverage of choice. I, on the other hand, have never been particularly fond of carbonated drinks. So while everyone grabs a zero calorie coke or pepsi, i look for some water and that is almost always more difficult to get (especially if you don't want it chilled) ! And then being a teetotaler, when everyone raises a toast with Champagne, i desperately hunt for that glass of sprite to find something to raise a toast with. But one way or another, carbonated drinks are not leaving me anytime soon. Thank God Tropicana survived along with Coke and Pepsi !

- The "coffee"less coffee - This is another common change that many Indians struggle with upon their arrival in the US. Having spent a good many years in the south of India, I was habituated to a steaming (or rather boiling) hot cup of strong, filter coffee, with a fair amount of milk. Coffee here of course is quite a different monster. The locals seem to like it black and dilute with minimal sugar and it is almost cold as they spend almost an hour sipping on it. It took me almost a month to get used to the new coffee here and i still have it closer to the Indian way. In fact, I was almost de-addicted and even now i drink only one cup a day compared to the three or four that used to keep my system running till not long ago !!

- The changing concepts of vegetarianism - Now this is an area that constantly surprises me. The reason is that all my life in India, there were not many definitions of vegetarianism i encountered. There was one breed which included eggs in their diet (people like me) and one which didn't. But there were not many other perumtations and combinations. But come to the US and people have even offered me shrimp because apparently seafood is vegetarian !!! Of course, thanks to the looks of a shrimp, i could avoid the taste but still, I had never imagined a possibility like that. And then well, you go to a chain like Mc Donald's and order a simple veggie burger and all that i got was a sliced bun with two tomato slices and a few leaves of lettuce ! All this after a lot of explaining to the lady at the counter that my brand of vegetarianism excludes all kind of meat - red, white or whatever color she could think of. It was an amusing exercise but i have learnt my lessons with time and with every experience i check items off my list... :)

- Finally the people and the place as a whole - I don't hate this new place and I certainly don't hate its people but I am still far away from being able to feel the pulse of this country. Far from having that sense of familiarity with a place which fosters comfort. I still feel like an alien, an outsider and an intruder. I also see that most people, including me here are constantly on the move. Not because they want to, but because sitting without doing anything is haunting and unnerving. I find almost everyone who is single in this place trying to keep their hands occupied so that their heads are distracted. This was not a sense that I lived with back home where there was a certain joy in not doing anything.

I still am trying to understand the people for what they are, for what they mean when they say and what they mean when they dont say. Because, although people are honest, there is a sense of diplomacy that cloaks that honesty. And while people may ask you how you are doing as a matter of courtesy, they dont really care about how you are doing. And while people may use the right courtesies, the right pardons and excuses, somewhere, all of it is just a gesture !

I don't know if this is my alien-ness talking or if this is a general observation, but one thing is for sure that while my first six months have been an eye-opener, i still have a long way to go.

And I sure am looking forward to the next edition of this post just to see where the changes have come about...

Books and food (for thought).... :)

I once read a blog about how certain books get along well with certain foods (can't remember where but it sure was an interesting perspective). I have never quite paid attention to the link between food and books because the book usually has all my attention when i am eating. But this post made me reflect on the link.

While to my mind, food doesn't seem to improve my reading experience or worsen it on most accounts (unless of course the book deals with extremely gross details which only prompt me to throw up or extremely yummy food which make crave for some), I now think that books do probably share certain parallels with food.

Certain books are my first resort when i need a laugh. Like comfort food (desserts and cookies in my case) I turn to them very soon at every crisis and they leave me with a feel-good factor. They make me forgive, forget and forge ahead. Who other in this category than Wodehouse ? I have rarely read a book of his and not had a hearty laugh. But then, like all good things, i can't enjoy too much of it for too long. Don't misunderstand me, i love the happy endings and i love the humor but I soon crave for some complication and some drama to mimic real life. I like to not know that all will be well in the end and that life is not always as rosy as PGW paints it to be.

And then i move on to different stuff - spicy, tangy, healthy or just plain old junk.

Then there are some books like the yummy junk food fare. Easy to get, easy to read, in fact, they are almost addictive, but they dont leave much of an impact. The are like the water drops on a lotus leaf, ready to roll off your mind space at the next available diversion. They entertain you and they keep you happily occupied when in hand but they do no long term good for you. This category probably belongs to those easy fictions which are not full of eloquent prose but they have a gripping storyline that keeps you hooked. In excessive dosage of course, like the junk food, they could have their side effects.

Then there are the healthy foods and the healthy books. Foods, which can be tasteless and bland and books which can be tough and chewy. Books which can tire you but which are rich in ideas and facts. These are books that require your full attention and can't be read with a wandering mind. A lot of the non-fiction i've read falls into this category where the reader needs to be in active dialogue with the writer. Its almost like a debate at times as the writer tries to convince you of his take. SJ Gould, Pinker, Penrose and many other writers have that effect on me. Even in fiction, writers like Ayn Rand, Dostoyevsky, Rushdie get me thinking and wondering. But then I do get tired with these too and then i crave for something more effortless. Like a day or two's binge which breaks off the monotony of the healthy streak.

And then there is a happy medium. More like home cooked food. It depends on how you cook it or on how you read it. You could dip deep into the allegories, the hidden meanings, the socio-political structure, the history of a book, the times of the writer or you could just read it as another story. Completely left at your discretion. These are mostly books which are full of rich prose and fascinating characters that keep your attention from wandering but they are not the books that will build on your grey cells. There also some popular science books like that of Simon Singh which are informative and yet light on reading. They leave you feeling enriched nonetheless. It is difficult to find this happy medium of books which teach and enrich your mind with out straining your thoughts. Its however nice to find these books once in a while but then their nature is such that you rush through them sooner than later.

So, now when I think of it... books and foods do share a link. A link different from what the other blogger envisaged but then that's probably just because I am catching on late... :) Maybe eventually, i will find that certain foods go well with certain books.

But till then, its probably still a good thought to raise a toast to books - our constant source of some great food (for thought) :) !!