Posted by a friend's friend whose writing i really like... I think its a well said note..
If you push me too far into my irritation, I will usually land up too far from whatever insight you are hoping to provide me.
The two of us stand facing each other, and we have come from diametrically opposite directions to this crossroads. If you push me so far back along the road I walked all this while, how am I to see the road you want me to take ahead?
I can only look so far beyond my own feet, so don't drag me to your point of view. I am blind there. I cannot stand in your shoes and see what you see.
They are your shoes, they have walked different roads to come to this point where we stand together. The dust on them is from different memories, different impulses. My heart and mind cannot respond to them.
So speak to me from here, from now. From what we share, what we know together. And maybe we can both walk a few steps forward in the same direction- In our own shoes, you understand, but just for this one understanding, we can share the same path.
And for a few years, we could maybe share this- And someday years from now we will speak from the same place, and share a common point of view.
Friday, February 26, 2010
I wonder...
As I take my first few steps on the blogosphere, one question does haunt me... why am I writing "blogs" ? Why am I leaving these tiny pieces of me in the public domain, subject to everyone's scrutiny ? What am I looking for ? An audience, acceptance, a means of communication, a sounding board or just a repository of my random thoughts ? Well, the answer is not clear to me ... I dont think i am looking for acceptance but all the other reasons seem to playing their tiny roles in my first few days here...
Thoughts always have this tendency of flitting in and out of one's mind... some are just glimpses of a deeper thought which you fail to grasp on to when they are just transiently floating around... However, the moment one decides to fit these thoughts into words, things crystallize, you ponder more and deeper and then a form emerges... Perhaps, not what you started out with but definitely a new form.. It gives clarity and perspective.. Perhaps, that's why i am writing or rather attempting to write..
It is also a way of expression... I mean, a lot of times at least with me, words dont sound right, as in, as they were intended. Sarcasm may sound like an insult, a compliment may sound like a sarcasm or witty sarcasm may sound like a compliment... The time lapse, the ability to use the "del" key and the absence of voice modulation make writing a relatively safe way of expression... :-)
More than anything, i guess, I am writing as a repository of my thoughts over time. People change with time... we all do. I guess, I just want to be able to see the change in me more radically than ever...
And, so, like a little child, taking his first tentative steps in the world, I am taking my first steps into the blogosphere... I may fall a lot and not like what I write, but I will endeavor to not give up at least, in the hope that someday, I may just about manage to walk well, if not run... !!!
Mean while, some of the blogs i follow and their writers need to be thanked for providing their fingers on which i am holding onto for thoughts, ideas and encouragement in these early days...
A life of water....
Biology has long taught that life is mostly made up of water but the connections between the two dont just end there... There is a metaphors galore... !!
Come to think of it... our life is like water. Sometimes stagnant and just reflecting our surroundings while sometimes, it creates its own identity as it flows with passion and purpose, directed towards a goal bruising every stone that comes in its way... sometimes, it is calm as the sea and sometimes it is violent like a waterfall... sometimes, its just meandering through a path of least resistance and sometimes it cuts through the terra firma giving rise to magnificence because there is no where else to go... floating by, sometimes, as wisps of cloud when the sheer joy of existence makes you want to fly, sometimes rendered frozen as ice due to the unremitting rigors of the climes... sometimes, pure as the early morning dew and sometimes defiled due to the world around...
Our life like water, does change its state too... a little bit of external influence and we have water floating in the heavens above or buried as the ice below... Isnt it similar to how people are altered by the circumstances they encounter... ? A life of pleasure makes you light and free of burdens, ready to float above the rest, while the air of adversity could freeze you to the core and make you withstand the worst life could offer... But, at the end of it all, we are all basically the same.... Water and only water !!! And all of our life we metamorphose and transform between the states as the world affects us and as we affect the world....
Come to think of it... our life is like water. Sometimes stagnant and just reflecting our surroundings while sometimes, it creates its own identity as it flows with passion and purpose, directed towards a goal bruising every stone that comes in its way... sometimes, it is calm as the sea and sometimes it is violent like a waterfall... sometimes, its just meandering through a path of least resistance and sometimes it cuts through the terra firma giving rise to magnificence because there is no where else to go... floating by, sometimes, as wisps of cloud when the sheer joy of existence makes you want to fly, sometimes rendered frozen as ice due to the unremitting rigors of the climes... sometimes, pure as the early morning dew and sometimes defiled due to the world around...
Our life like water, does change its state too... a little bit of external influence and we have water floating in the heavens above or buried as the ice below... Isnt it similar to how people are altered by the circumstances they encounter... ? A life of pleasure makes you light and free of burdens, ready to float above the rest, while the air of adversity could freeze you to the core and make you withstand the worst life could offer... But, at the end of it all, we are all basically the same.... Water and only water !!! And all of our life we metamorphose and transform between the states as the world affects us and as we affect the world....
White Daisies...
White daisies for long have had this uncanny ability to remind me of one person and one person alone... Meg Ryan in "You ve got mail" !! I dont know why I remember this strange connection but it is embedded in my neural circuitry !! (Remember, when Meg Ryan has cold and is locked up in her house, in walks Tom Hanks with a lovely bunch of daisies and that's the beginning of a new friendship and a love story :-)) Its not that i have a huge hard disk for storing such trivia, in fact, quite to the contrary, I very often fail to recall to the name of the person I am talking to... And so, I find it strange that i should remember the daisy association for so long.. But, some things do have a tendency of staying with you !!! :-)
And so, at all times, daisies bring me to thinking about the movie... a favorite, no doubt, but it also strikes cord deeper than any other romantic "chick flick"...
I love the movie for the simple fact that here, love begins with the thoughts, ideas and the opinions of the person and not with the appearance, personality or the confidence of the person. It is wonderful indeed to be able to meet people without the baggage of their physicality and appearance... Imagine, to be able to judge people for who they really are and what they think...
Well, I guess, most people eventually do go beyond appearances but then undoubtedly, we are all biased by our visual inputs.. what we see influences our opinions to a good extent.. In fact, I often have to dissect out my opinions to try and get to the right threads from the tapestry of a person's identity which is imprinted in my head... I have to make a conscious attempt to overrule my visual stimulus and focus on the unseen...
Another wonderful aspect about the movie is of course the ability of love to blossom out of a good friendship... Though, my head still grapples with the identity of love and friendship, I always seem to believe that friendship is essential to love...
I guess, I need a lot more clarity on these issues... Till then, however, I am willing to let my instincts guide me and enjoy lovely screen romances... :-)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A world without words…
A world without words…
Hard to imagine but there sure was one before humanity found these tiny nuggets as means of communication and expression. But, today where I stand, I find it impossible to even conceive a world where I didn’t have them at my disposal… How would I communicate, even to myself ? I think with words ? Will I be the same person if I didn’t have them around…?
We all live in a world of words - our's and other's….. So what happens if they are no longer around… I have been pursuing the thought and It is scary indeed… No wonder, the evolution of language was a milestone in human evolution…
But, then there are still other people who refuse to appreciate the beauty of words… some one once asked me why do you choose to use these "complicated" words to say simple things… ??? Well, it never really occurred to me … complicated ? Words ? I love words, They are my tools to understanding myself and others, voicing my thoughts… Why insist on the right word at the right place ? Well, why not ??? When words become your friends, you want them to be in the right places at the right time…
With that thought, I stand firm on course to develop my budding friendship with these linguistic wonders….
Encounters with fullstops, commas and excalamations...
I hate fullstops… I wonder why ?? They have a sense of finality about them which I don’t like… I always prefer leaving a sentence open ended with a continuum… It is a bad style of writing as you are probably already commenting on but let me indulge myself at least in my own spaces… It is strange indeed that while one "." conveys with so much finality the end of a thought, a string of them "….." give a feeling of continuation and a sense of lingering …. Strangeness of the language and the human mind indeed!
And with that ".", I intend to put a full stop to my ramblings.
But then I love exclamations !! There is a certain joie de vivre about them as they jump out at you from the midst of all those characters and transform simple words into wonderful emotions…
Commas, well… they just give you spaces… comfortable spaces to work with !!! They help you sort out your thoughts as they rage about in your head….
Life is beautiful...
The world is a beautiful place ….
When you see a child laughing with joy
When you see an old couple so much in love
When you see the wrinkled hands of experience leading the tiny bundles of innocence
When you see the love for a child in the eyes of the mother
When you find unconditional love
When you find friendship to cherish forever
Indeed, it is a beautiful place….
When you see a seed floating into the unknown from the folds of its origin
When you look at the night sky sparkling as if studded with diamonds
When you hear wind whispering into your ears
When you feel the rain trickling down
When you find a butterfly fluttering along
When you see the early morning dew glistening in the first rays of the sun
Images stay longer with you as your thoughts are eroded by the harsh desert winds…
I hope these images stay with me and remind me of the wonders of life through the darkest hours I may see….
Moving on...
My heart aches, but my eyes are dry
I have no tears, I wonder why
And there is a rush of memories from far and beyond
Of struggles which left me battered on the ground
I rose up after every fall but I was never the same again
I moved on and on through the pain
Wishing forever that things wouldn’t be the same
And then I dried my eyes only to find them never again cry
I vowed to try and try
And this is where I find myself a few years down the line
My heart aches, but my eyes are dry
I have no tears but I long to cry
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.
May Sarton
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great person is one who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Moments frozen in time …
In " sound of music" Audrey Hepburn lists out a few of her favorite things…
Made me think of some of mine…
• Dew drops on roses
• Rain drops on green blades of grass
• A butterfly fluttering
• A gust of wind as if trying to whisper a secret to you
• A full moon like the guardian angel
• Happy endings
• The laughter of a child
• A smile shrouded by wrinkles
• The smell of coffee
• The scent of fresh stationary
• The feel of old books
• Bright flowers in a meadow
• The simplicity of white
• The power of black
• A cottage by the lake
• A dog by the door
• fireflies by the night
• The questions of a child
• Chocolates and ice cream and practically anything sweet
• Reading by the night with a warm quilt
• Waking up with the one you love
• The patter of rain drops on a tin sheet
• The wind in my hair
• The smell of the soil after a drizzle
• The smell of eucalyptus
• Candle light banter
• Moments frozen in time (photographs)
• Travel
• The idea of dancing with a saxophone in the backdrop
• Hot coffee and a book on a rainy day by the window ledge
Made me think of some of mine…
• Dew drops on roses
• Rain drops on green blades of grass
• A butterfly fluttering
• A gust of wind as if trying to whisper a secret to you
• A full moon like the guardian angel
• Happy endings
• The laughter of a child
• A smile shrouded by wrinkles
• The smell of coffee
• The scent of fresh stationary
• The feel of old books
• Bright flowers in a meadow
• The simplicity of white
• The power of black
• A cottage by the lake
• A dog by the door
• fireflies by the night
• The questions of a child
• Chocolates and ice cream and practically anything sweet
• Reading by the night with a warm quilt
• Waking up with the one you love
• The patter of rain drops on a tin sheet
• The wind in my hair
• The smell of the soil after a drizzle
• The smell of eucalyptus
• Candle light banter
• Moments frozen in time (photographs)
• Travel
• The idea of dancing with a saxophone in the backdrop
• Hot coffee and a book on a rainy day by the window ledge
Well, I am not a great writer and neither do have a lot to say but I have decided to make a note of some of those moments of joy and introspection in the midst of daily mundane… Lets see how far I go.
I have wanted to do this for a very long time but something held me back…
There are moments (atleast with me) when seeing someone do something I ve wanted to do for long compels me to get to actually doing it rather than just contemplation… My perception of my life somehow made me put together a collage of things I really wanted to do …. I will put it down here for future reference …
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Resilience or negligence .... ????
Well, It is the month of August and as is true for any Indian 15th August is engrained in my mind too as India's Independence day…. !!
I have never been much of a believer in ceremonies and functions and each year the Independence and the Republic days are spent just as any other day. Mind you, It is not because I don’t value them, It is just that I don’t see any point in valuing them only for a day. Well, staying on the campus of one of the premier research institutes in the country, one does have the special functions, meetings and speeches on such occasions of national importance. I, however, choose not to attend them. Coincidentally, however, in the same month as when the World's largest democracy gained its independence, I happened to come across a poem by its pioneering thinkers, Rabindranath Tagore.
Where the mind is wihout fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms
Towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening
Thought and action -
Into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake.
As I read this poem on one hand and the newspaper on the other, I was enveloped by a helpless feeling. Something written nearly a century ago was yet to materialize !!!
How is it that the nation of Aryabhatta and Sushruta, Ramanujam and Raman, Tagore and Teresa, and Of Gandhi and Nehru is reduced to a land with daily reports of homicide, rape, communal violence and bomb blasts. Why is that Tagore 's prayer, written nearly a century ago still embodies the prayer of most indians….. Why are we happy to be attending the flag hoisting ceremonies and the speeches and not look at the plight of the country. The situation in Kashmir, West Bengal, Calcutta and Rajasthan …. Why is it that we conveniently gloss over these realities and look at the Shining India. Why are the newspapers projecting an India different from what it is …. ???? Why ? Why and Why ???? Too many questions and the answers probably lie with us… the people of this country. Why is it that we don’t value life the way the Americans do ?? Why is it that we are used to blasts everyday…. A bomb blast only translates into an additional figure for people to remember - how many blasts and how many killed ??? Is that how much we value human life now ??? How do we manage to take life and death so very lightly ??? Must be because of our cultural tenets which say that all life is temporary …. We are all born to die and so we shall !!!! Is this what makes the Indians immune to their own misery??
I have never been much of a believer in ceremonies and functions and each year the Independence and the Republic days are spent just as any other day. Mind you, It is not because I don’t value them, It is just that I don’t see any point in valuing them only for a day. Well, staying on the campus of one of the premier research institutes in the country, one does have the special functions, meetings and speeches on such occasions of national importance. I, however, choose not to attend them. Coincidentally, however, in the same month as when the World's largest democracy gained its independence, I happened to come across a poem by its pioneering thinkers, Rabindranath Tagore.
Where the mind is wihout fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms
Towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening
Thought and action -
Into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake.
As I read this poem on one hand and the newspaper on the other, I was enveloped by a helpless feeling. Something written nearly a century ago was yet to materialize !!!
How is it that the nation of Aryabhatta and Sushruta, Ramanujam and Raman, Tagore and Teresa, and Of Gandhi and Nehru is reduced to a land with daily reports of homicide, rape, communal violence and bomb blasts. Why is that Tagore 's prayer, written nearly a century ago still embodies the prayer of most indians….. Why are we happy to be attending the flag hoisting ceremonies and the speeches and not look at the plight of the country. The situation in Kashmir, West Bengal, Calcutta and Rajasthan …. Why is it that we conveniently gloss over these realities and look at the Shining India. Why are the newspapers projecting an India different from what it is …. ???? Why ? Why and Why ???? Too many questions and the answers probably lie with us… the people of this country. Why is it that we don’t value life the way the Americans do ?? Why is it that we are used to blasts everyday…. A bomb blast only translates into an additional figure for people to remember - how many blasts and how many killed ??? Is that how much we value human life now ??? How do we manage to take life and death so very lightly ??? Must be because of our cultural tenets which say that all life is temporary …. We are all born to die and so we shall !!!! Is this what makes the Indians immune to their own misery??
An ode to the nameless...
An ode to the nameless….
Well, IISc has been my home away from home for the last three years and in this period I have seen various shades of life. I would definitely not consider myself a people friendly person; however, as I just reflected upon my stay in IISc and the people around me, a myriad of faces emerged. Strangely I didn’t have a name for many of them. These faces are an integral part of my life and they make life so much better for me BUT I didn’t have their names. Then I realized that I didn’t really need a name for them. I love the way these bonds developed - slowly, over time, ignorant of the specific details that the world is concerned about, without any need for social norms and/or personal needs. These were bonds forged with no motives whatsoever. They were how most relationships should be…based on liking and nothing else, with no impositions on them. As soon as I realized this, I felt compelled to share these wonderfully nameless people with you. These are the people who make my day, who make the world seem a brighter place to me, who restore my faith in humanity after I ve read the daily newspaper. Be it the "watchman uncles" at Rohini and Krithika, who playfully wish me every time they see me, enquire religiously about my lunch, breakfast or dinner. Or be it the "guy at tea board" who strangely seems to be able to read me inside out. He knows when I am dull or worked up and lightens up the mood with his incessant banter. How can I not miss the uncle at the Niligiris Shop who always makes it a point to wish me with a wonderful smile when he catches me amidst his early morning travails of delivering milk to the houses. On occasions when he is relatively free, he talks as if I am his long lost grand-daughter asking me about my wedding plans. He has made sure that I invite him to it whenever that might be…. !! The folks at Kabini whom I have bugged so much for the 'Gobi Manchurian', that my visit to Kabini now makes us both laugh. The Guard at the Library whom I often meet as I come to the department in the morning, cycling towards his office, he too unfailingly enquires about my well being each time he sees me. The numerous attenders and office staff in my department who give such a wonderful smile each time they see me that it actually makes the world seem a better place. The nameless kid whom I met while roaming with my camera who chatted with me (in spite of my broken Kannada) for ten minutes and wanted me to take a picture of his. The sisters who wanted a photo of theirs to be shot when they saw me with a camera. ( I always wonder how to give their photo to them, they after all wanted it a lot). The attenders in the mess who make sure that no one leaves the mess hungry, even if they come half an hour after the mess closing time. They give you food from the kitchen with a wonderful smile. The staff at Faculty club who always have a smile when I order my usual double coffee. The uncle at coffee board who used to give my sugarless cup of coffee with such a broad smile, without my reminding him. The list is a pretty long one but the common feature is the namelessness. I don’t know anything about these people but I still care for them. I miss my watchman uncles when I don’t see them for a couple of days. I miss the folks at coffee board. I hated it when they had to leave and they were terribly sad too, telling me their problem about the price hike issue. These people don’t know anything about me … but they still remember me among the many they see everyday. I do wonder how it all started but I can’t seem to remember. I think people tend to remember the best or the worst in life. My face is definitely not among the best and hopefully not among the worst either but nonetheless, all these people from different walks of life remember me and I honestly am glad they do. Language is probably the thread that binds us together but its definitely not the only one. I am thankful for these nameless people who have made my days so much better and as I key in these words I have a hope that maybe I shall be able to do the same for several others someday. If only everyone thought this way, the world could be a much better place and life in research would not seem such a bad thing after all… !!! ;-)
Well, IISc has been my home away from home for the last three years and in this period I have seen various shades of life. I would definitely not consider myself a people friendly person; however, as I just reflected upon my stay in IISc and the people around me, a myriad of faces emerged. Strangely I didn’t have a name for many of them. These faces are an integral part of my life and they make life so much better for me BUT I didn’t have their names. Then I realized that I didn’t really need a name for them. I love the way these bonds developed - slowly, over time, ignorant of the specific details that the world is concerned about, without any need for social norms and/or personal needs. These were bonds forged with no motives whatsoever. They were how most relationships should be…based on liking and nothing else, with no impositions on them. As soon as I realized this, I felt compelled to share these wonderfully nameless people with you. These are the people who make my day, who make the world seem a brighter place to me, who restore my faith in humanity after I ve read the daily newspaper. Be it the "watchman uncles" at Rohini and Krithika, who playfully wish me every time they see me, enquire religiously about my lunch, breakfast or dinner. Or be it the "guy at tea board" who strangely seems to be able to read me inside out. He knows when I am dull or worked up and lightens up the mood with his incessant banter. How can I not miss the uncle at the Niligiris Shop who always makes it a point to wish me with a wonderful smile when he catches me amidst his early morning travails of delivering milk to the houses. On occasions when he is relatively free, he talks as if I am his long lost grand-daughter asking me about my wedding plans. He has made sure that I invite him to it whenever that might be…. !! The folks at Kabini whom I have bugged so much for the 'Gobi Manchurian', that my visit to Kabini now makes us both laugh. The Guard at the Library whom I often meet as I come to the department in the morning, cycling towards his office, he too unfailingly enquires about my well being each time he sees me. The numerous attenders and office staff in my department who give such a wonderful smile each time they see me that it actually makes the world seem a better place. The nameless kid whom I met while roaming with my camera who chatted with me (in spite of my broken Kannada) for ten minutes and wanted me to take a picture of his. The sisters who wanted a photo of theirs to be shot when they saw me with a camera. ( I always wonder how to give their photo to them, they after all wanted it a lot). The attenders in the mess who make sure that no one leaves the mess hungry, even if they come half an hour after the mess closing time. They give you food from the kitchen with a wonderful smile. The staff at Faculty club who always have a smile when I order my usual double coffee. The uncle at coffee board who used to give my sugarless cup of coffee with such a broad smile, without my reminding him. The list is a pretty long one but the common feature is the namelessness. I don’t know anything about these people but I still care for them. I miss my watchman uncles when I don’t see them for a couple of days. I miss the folks at coffee board. I hated it when they had to leave and they were terribly sad too, telling me their problem about the price hike issue. These people don’t know anything about me … but they still remember me among the many they see everyday. I do wonder how it all started but I can’t seem to remember. I think people tend to remember the best or the worst in life. My face is definitely not among the best and hopefully not among the worst either but nonetheless, all these people from different walks of life remember me and I honestly am glad they do. Language is probably the thread that binds us together but its definitely not the only one. I am thankful for these nameless people who have made my days so much better and as I key in these words I have a hope that maybe I shall be able to do the same for several others someday. If only everyone thought this way, the world could be a much better place and life in research would not seem such a bad thing after all… !!! ;-)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Well, reading has always been a favorite all-consuming activity and it has always resulted in several thoughts emerging in my mind …. Questions I would ponder about, thoughts that would flit my mind, answers that would suddenly appear, unknown to all but me…. As time passed, a desire to start penning my thoughts took root and now in spite of not being proud of my writing skills, I have finally taken the plunge… decided to put my fingers onto the keyboard and let my mind take over. Someone, once told me I should write to give back to the society what I had gained…. But being the egotist that I am, that did not cut much ice with me. I did however start writing but solely for my own sake. It is nice to be able to pen down (key down is probably the right word these days!!) one's thoughts and look them over from time to time. I am also feeling that trying to put down our thoughts actually helps us understand ourselves better…. So, In that hope, I begin my journey on the Blogosphere ….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)