Every now and then, when I am bored of my stack of unfinished books, I go pry on someone's bookshelf and see what they recommend. And I don't trust many people's taste to bank on it. But few people like Neeraja on "The Mind's Language" have earned my trust because we seem to think alike on a lot of subjects. And this time, when I trolled through the bibliography, I came across a book which would have piqued my interest but never enough for me to have picked it up.
The introvert advantage - any self-proclaimed or self-diagnosed introvert (like me) would find this irresistible. But age and experience had built in me a sense of mistrust and skepticism for the genre of self-help books and this sounds just like it. But when Neeraja reviewed the book well and clearly stated that it is not to be put aside as a self-help book, I knew I had to try it and see. And so with a lot of trepidation, I ordered the kindle edition, telling myself that I can return the book in a few days, if I don't like the sound of it - and today, halfway through the book, I am glad, I gave myself the chance.
I don't know what changed but I can say one thing for sure - nothing has fit me better than the tag of an introvert. And reading someone else going through the exact symptoms and feelings of anxiety, pressure and fatigue somehow resolved my trepidations with socializing. I was always the reflective, deep thinker who hated to talk unless there was something meaningful to say. I was the one who would prefer writing to talking, much to the irritation and amusement of people. Surrounded by extroverts, I was always tired with too much talking. I needed my books, my coffee and my long walks. Luckily for me, my extrovert friends, managed to see the real me, buried inside and we managed well since I had the time for things that would let me be alone.
However, I was always told that I am an extrovert deep down which was somehow incomprehensible to me. But somewhere along the way, it did make me think; because, while, I did like my company to those of many others - having long chats, discussions and listening to some people also made me very happy. There was a little contradiction that was not resolved.
And then I read this book and as I read line after line, trait after trait, I kept getting happier and more excited.
It could have been me between those pages, shrinking from social sessions, group interactions and partying. It could have been me wanting to stay home reading or watching television, instead of going to clubs and dance parties. At the same time, like the author, I loved my meaty conversations over the superfluous and inconsequential chit-chat. In fact, my social skills had been severely compromised after my PhD and my move to a new country. A PhD somehow grants you the freedom to build screens around you - in fact, almost everyone does it to focus on their work and to stay away from the prying questions of outsiders.
And then my move half-way across the world left me rootless and devoid of social context. Even though the introvert me could stay happy without too much social stimulation, there was a lot that didn't make sense. From the lack of social cues and context to an inherently introvert temperament, I was certainly at a loss for words. And somehow, though I knew myself and could predict my responses and reactions almost to the 'T', I was never clear about the why's and wherefore's of it. Having read through a fair share of the book, I can say out aloud, that I am an introvert - and perhaps right down to the 'T'. And it certainly feels good to know that there are others who feel the same sense of fatigue from constant stimulation and social interaction. Because though I love trying new things and meeting new people, I like that in measured doses under control. Being thrown in the ocean of new experiences has never been thrilling to me - much to the puzzlement of my friends.
And as I soak in the words and the sentences from this book, there is part of me that is relieved because I had suspected it all along and still never been sure. And there is a part of me that is ecstatic because although there are more extroverts than introverts in the world, there are a lot more introverts than I ever knew about. And that is a good feeling... :)
The introvert advantage - any self-proclaimed or self-diagnosed introvert (like me) would find this irresistible. But age and experience had built in me a sense of mistrust and skepticism for the genre of self-help books and this sounds just like it. But when Neeraja reviewed the book well and clearly stated that it is not to be put aside as a self-help book, I knew I had to try it and see. And so with a lot of trepidation, I ordered the kindle edition, telling myself that I can return the book in a few days, if I don't like the sound of it - and today, halfway through the book, I am glad, I gave myself the chance.
I don't know what changed but I can say one thing for sure - nothing has fit me better than the tag of an introvert. And reading someone else going through the exact symptoms and feelings of anxiety, pressure and fatigue somehow resolved my trepidations with socializing. I was always the reflective, deep thinker who hated to talk unless there was something meaningful to say. I was the one who would prefer writing to talking, much to the irritation and amusement of people. Surrounded by extroverts, I was always tired with too much talking. I needed my books, my coffee and my long walks. Luckily for me, my extrovert friends, managed to see the real me, buried inside and we managed well since I had the time for things that would let me be alone.
However, I was always told that I am an extrovert deep down which was somehow incomprehensible to me. But somewhere along the way, it did make me think; because, while, I did like my company to those of many others - having long chats, discussions and listening to some people also made me very happy. There was a little contradiction that was not resolved.
And then I read this book and as I read line after line, trait after trait, I kept getting happier and more excited.
It could have been me between those pages, shrinking from social sessions, group interactions and partying. It could have been me wanting to stay home reading or watching television, instead of going to clubs and dance parties. At the same time, like the author, I loved my meaty conversations over the superfluous and inconsequential chit-chat. In fact, my social skills had been severely compromised after my PhD and my move to a new country. A PhD somehow grants you the freedom to build screens around you - in fact, almost everyone does it to focus on their work and to stay away from the prying questions of outsiders.
And then my move half-way across the world left me rootless and devoid of social context. Even though the introvert me could stay happy without too much social stimulation, there was a lot that didn't make sense. From the lack of social cues and context to an inherently introvert temperament, I was certainly at a loss for words. And somehow, though I knew myself and could predict my responses and reactions almost to the 'T', I was never clear about the why's and wherefore's of it. Having read through a fair share of the book, I can say out aloud, that I am an introvert - and perhaps right down to the 'T'. And it certainly feels good to know that there are others who feel the same sense of fatigue from constant stimulation and social interaction. Because though I love trying new things and meeting new people, I like that in measured doses under control. Being thrown in the ocean of new experiences has never been thrilling to me - much to the puzzlement of my friends.
And as I soak in the words and the sentences from this book, there is part of me that is relieved because I had suspected it all along and still never been sure. And there is a part of me that is ecstatic because although there are more extroverts than introverts in the world, there are a lot more introverts than I ever knew about. And that is a good feeling... :)
