Incredible India!

India, many say, is like an addiction. I agree, because I need my fix every year or two. Else, it leaves me miserable, strung-over and frustrated, teetering on the edge of a collapse. There is something about the air that slows my pace and my pulse down. Time there seems to move at a pace more manageable. People are more personable, even perfect strangers. The days do not leave me feeling rushed, dazed and exhausted like they do back ‘here’. I become my own person, not some harried, do-it-all who is unable to do it all. 

This year’s trip, after two long years, came differently though and I didn't have any expectations. Friends were all too busy, family – close and far, ranged from disinterest and skepticism to occasional excitement. I wasn’t looking to get anywhere, only trying to get away and this has usually never been the case with me. I came on a vacation laden with fatigue, anxiety, trepidation, anger, skepticism and very little of hope for anything wonderful.

There was a surgery planned but no vacation. There was a hospital stay planned, but no hotel stay. There were tests planned, no get-togethers. I was prepared for nothing and yet, this time, I couldn’t care. I was above and beyond caring and needed the space and the time.

Surprisingly though, it was not a bad trip. It wasn't all that I had imagined because I didn't manage to visit all my haunts; the get-together’s have been different, have felt a little incomplete; home has felt different but reassuringly same; and people have changed – aged, some in ways favorable, but some in ways sad and unexpected; some places which were defined by their people have changed and become a little more alien. But despite the lack of expectations or plans, I must say things have not been bad. I wonder if it is because of the lack of expectations or because of that deep-seated fear of something terrible about to happen - whose mere absence is reassuring enough… 

After two years of a never-ending maze, I finally feel empty, peaceful, quiet. I can now sense the person I used to be – emerging from the haze. The camera, the books, the places and the people - are slowly becoming appealing. I think I am an addict and need my fix of this country held-together by nothing but its people and ‘jugaad’. 

I still don’t feel ready to pack up and leave forever.

Explore India…

to become aware of the vastness of space.
to encounter history in every day life.
to become aware of the smallness of your being.
to learn that wealth has little to do with happiness.
to learn to find your identity in a mass of humanity
to find a nation that is bursting at the seams but manages to hold together because of its people.
to find order in perfect chaos.
to find harmony from noise.
to find a nation that encompasses the climes of the world.
to learn to cherish diversity.
to become aware of the forces of nature.
to become aware of the eternities that lie before and after you.

Explore India….
For it tests your limits and grows them one step at a time.
For it reveals unsuspected abilities.
For it highlights the weaknesses that you have successfully ignored.
For it let’s you live happily with very little.
For a digital detox.
For the chai-coffee and gup-shup.
For the scenes of gully-cricket that beats with a pulse of its own.

Explore India….
to remind yourself of the better side of human nature as perfect strangers come out to help you.
to also learn that people have a dark side.
to learn to watch out for yourself.
to learn to enjoy the world with caution.
to communicate without words.
to stop and smile, to feel the wind in your hair.
to watch butterflies crash into your windshields.
to watch majestic elephants roam the wild.
to understand the language of horns, sirens, blinkers and reflectors.

Explore India….
to expand your palate.
to notice the sunrise and the sunset.
to slow down your pace of life because time here does set a different pace.
to float above the clouds.
to feel the wind in your hair and to feel the rhythm in your pulse.
to tickle your senses.
to meet new people.
to sing new songs.

In short, visit India if you really want to live your life... and that is why I need my dose of India to function sanely.

History...

There is something about history that is always just out of your grasp - all pervasive and still elusive.

My journey began in a country that was steeped in history.
History that dated back to several millennia. A history of migration, invasion, war, disease, annihilation, colonization, liberation and modernization.
It is a country with so much history that it lies unseen, uncared for, and unheard; by the streetside - like a homeless traveling through time, our heritage lay neglected. Allowed to disintegrate at a steady pace.

Where I grew up, history was omnipresent and unavoidable - lining the streets, dotting the towns and villages. Hundreds of years were summarized in passing. A few sentences were all they would merit because there was so much time to be covered.

History had dug its roots so deep here, that we wanted to break free.

Some of us would run from this very history to embrace other cultures and civilizations.
Some others would feel the weight of these age old customs, traditions, rituals and cultures binding them, tethering them to the dark and irrelevant mistakes of the past. Their wings were clipped and weighed down by the past.

Some others considered history to be the dead weight that was preventing the country from rising to its true potential - a kind of baggage that must be shed before we were drowned by its weight. For some others, it was an albatross around their neck - a reminder of all that went wrong and can go wrong in the times to come.
And yet, for some, there was glory in this view of the past. Lessons to be learnt from these labor pains; from the innocence of infancy to the adolescent rebellion and finally to the crisis of growth and maturation in the mid-life civilization.

No one was completely right or wrong.

History is a double edged sword.

India, has a heritage dating back more than 7 millennia and in this long window of time - a lot has happened. From the birth of civilization as we know it to the discovery of science and technology - there have been many great things that have come out of this great land. But, these achievements are also tainted. They bear the burden of the caste system, of oppression, retarded social structures, discrimination against women and religious intolerance.

Waves of migration, invasion and trade brought many different cultures to our doorstep making this country an eclectic melting pot. Its identity has changed and evolved with the times and people could find an identity convenient to them depending on how far back in time they went.
An identity that was once strong, self-assured and open, is today tipping over, crumbling under its own weight. What was once whole, strong and pliable, is being forced to be rigid, definite and precise today. And in the process, it has become a shackle to be broken. An image to be destroyed. A myth to be debunked.

And as I struggled with my own share of this burden of history and heritage, my journeys brought me to a country where history is revered, is sought after.

Simply because it is non-existent. Unlike India, where centuries were the currency of time, here, time is measured in years. The roots of these modern day cities extend only a few decades in time.
And so, the people here search for their roots. They treasure their old letters and photographs, the books and the names, the homes and the churches - whatever little they could find, was their anchor to their past. These few things are their connection to their history, to their past and to their ancestors. Their glorious present searches for an anchor, something to call its own - a rich, glorious past. They go looking for that lost time. They are not dwarfed or burdened by their history or its mistakes. Somehow, a successful present seems to atone for a lot of the past.

And still, there are other countries where the past is a burden to bear. A mistake to learn from. A mistake never to repeat. Not just for its own people, but for humanity itself. And so they run from their past even as they try to accept it.

And so, despite being its constant, unchanging, unwavering entity, history remains elusive and amorphous - subject to interpretation.
Sometimes it is the yoke that leashes you while at others it is the anchor that you seek. Sometimes, it is a burden to lose and at others, it is the foundation that you seek.