For as long as I remember, I have been a fighter and I have always had a firm grip - on plans, hopes and dreams. When things would go awry, I would chip away at it, with an almost manic sense of doggedness. With a perseverance that borders on being a mistake (or probably is a mistake) and has often surprised me too.
I would grab on with all my might and not let go as if it were my last link to life and all that is good. I have spent years like this, in this frantic, death-grip of sorts - on things; on life.
But now, after years of gripping tight, somehow letting go has become a little easier. Instead of tensing up and pulling in with all my might, I am now able to walk away. I let go a little more easily - of dreams, plans, wishes and even life itself. I can now see myself - not fighting things; of just letting go and drifting off.
I wonder though, if I am made or unmade in the process of getting here...
Is this a result of fatigue from the deathly grip and sore knuckles or is it wisdom seeping in? Am I losing my stubbornness or just gaining perspective? Have I lost my resilience or am I just finding my courage in letting go? Is this driven by fear and pain or by a higher purpose? Am I finding a newer self or just letting go of my sense of self?
I would grab on with all my might and not let go as if it were my last link to life and all that is good. I have spent years like this, in this frantic, death-grip of sorts - on things; on life.
But now, after years of gripping tight, somehow letting go has become a little easier. Instead of tensing up and pulling in with all my might, I am now able to walk away. I let go a little more easily - of dreams, plans, wishes and even life itself. I can now see myself - not fighting things; of just letting go and drifting off.
I wonder though, if I am made or unmade in the process of getting here...
Is this a result of fatigue from the deathly grip and sore knuckles or is it wisdom seeping in? Am I losing my stubbornness or just gaining perspective? Have I lost my resilience or am I just finding my courage in letting go? Is this driven by fear and pain or by a higher purpose? Am I finding a newer self or just letting go of my sense of self?
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