Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Some monsters are never really dead...

Some monsters are never really dead.
You think you've slain them, buried them, burnt them and walked away - whole and alive... but, no, my dear, no.
They continue to lurk in the deep recesses of your mind, as a memory that you can vaguely recall. They seem to have multiple hidden lives, protected from our watchful eyes in horcruxes that are stowed away.
Their subliminal presence casts a faint shadow every now and then one learns to ignore it.
But then there are times, when a tiny comment, a jibe or a passing witticism by someone will unleash those monsters. The horcruxes will begin to burn, itch and glow even as you do your damnedest best to ignore their very existence.
They will rise up from the dead and you will have to deal with them again - and yet again.

I have had my share of monsters. I have run away from them, ignored them, battled them and finally slain them - or so I thought.
They were hidden for a long time, but even the most innocent of comments can serve as powerful spells as they revive the slain monsters.
I can sense their presence as they raise their head now. I can hear the jibes, the sneers, the tug on my confidence...
I can feel the angst of my 'plain', teenage self, who wanted nothing but to wake up as a different person. I thought I had slain this monster.
What happened here?

But this time, things are also a little different... This is a familiar enemy and I have seen the other side. I know how the battle plays out and I know I can survive this too. And so, I am not yet broken and buried. Instead, I retreat and find myself a foothold. I strategize and I plan. I know where I stumble and I am going to make sure I don't.
The monsters shall rise but I shall slay them again... and again and again. Because that is all you can do. Find the monsters that scream defeat, hatred and insult; and slay them, ruthlessly and relentlessly.



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