Sunday, May 8, 2011

Fishisms and Fishy witticisms...

Some statements are just witty.
Not what is right but not always wrong either. Not what you would say. Not honest or sensitive or politically correct. Sometimes, they are repulsive, sometimes hilarious but for the most part just witty.

Here is a catalog of some that I came across through one of my many explorations into American soap operas. This time it was the very popular Ally Mc Beal. And the quotes coming through the character of Richard Fish are called as Fishisms.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Make enough money and everything else will follow"

"It's not about winning, it's about winning ugly that matters"

"Problem is just a bleak word for challenge"

"Parenting is nothing if not selfless"

"Reunions are meant to allow the more successful graduates to inform the less successful that is what they are, less than. You and I are more than. Especially me. I've got my own firm. I could possibly be the most."

"One of the keys to life is the fast forward. Every movie has its lousy parts. The trick is to fast forward through. As time passes, you look back and say 'oh that little adultery thing, oh that.' Fast Forward to then, right now, and you are over it."

"The reason John and I started this firm was because we wanted to go to work everyday where it was fun: make money, throw office parties, a fun place to work. I realize employees will always gripe. Part of an employee is to not like people staring at pretty girls, and not to like tactics to win cases. It is the nature of the employee to complain. There is always some place better. This lawsuit carries the gripe too far. It saps the fun out of it for me. And since fun was the point, anybody who isn't happy, leave. And if ya'll go, we will just have to start another firm. There is always another one."

"On sex and sexual harassment, women don't see straight. Women as a rule hate other pretty women. Women as a rule also sympathize with other women victims because they are women. Women want other women to be destroyed, but as women they don't want to be the destroyer themselves."

"Everyone is alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship."

"If you don't kiss a girl on the first date, you are a gentlemen. If you don't kiss her by the second, you are gay."

"Personally, I hate sexual harassment laws. The original force behind them were disgruntled lesbians who felt they were not given the same opportunities. Along with ugly women, who ere jealous of pretty women who got all the breaks in the work force. My cause to action is simple, women are victims. They need special help. Look, at the evolution of these sexual harassment laws. What we are really saying is women really should qualify under the Federal Disablity Act. They are less able. They cannot cope with romance in the office. They cannot contend with having to do a job and have a man smile at them. It is too much. Look where we use to be, first quid pro quo, then hostile environment, and now Seinfeld episodes. Women can't take it they bruise too easily. The laws are here to protect the weak and most vulnerable in society. She is woman, protect her!"

"We just love to live in a politically correct world, that is so involved. Where did we pass a law against common sense? This is a french bistro. When people go there, they go not just to eat but to dine. The ambiance of culture they want to feel elite and sophisticated. A good gay waiter can do that. They have that snobbish little entitlement thing going. People like that." Judge: " Gays are elitist snobs?" Richard: "The waiter kind are. First they are smarter. They grow up reading more books, probably trying to figure out the answer as to why they are homosexual.Plus, they are terrible at sports which gives them more time to study. They are smart, they want to work in the arts. They end up as waiters, way over qualified, bitter, snobby. People have com e to expect this when ordering a fruity wine."

"Lend me your shoe Georgia. If I wanted to sell this, better to have you model this or me? Everything is about presentation, same for restaurants as for shoes. What's inside doesn't count, its how they look. Fishism."

John: "Are we a joke to the outside world?" Richard: "The outside world just doesn't get the joke. Fishism."

"The difference between men and women is friction. Friction, friction, friction, orgasm!"

"Men love any woman they sleep with, it is the ticket to admission. Fishism."

"Sex for me, when it is right it is right. When it is wrong, it is still right. Fishism."

"True love means short refractory time. Fishism."

"After women marry and have kids, they don't want any part of a man's penis. The bigger it is, the more of him she doesn't want."

"Helping people is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self-interest."
"I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law. The law sucks. It's boring. But it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody, cost him everything he's worked for, make his wife leave him, even cause his kids to cry? We can do that."

"Georgia, give me your shoe. Why would a grown person wear these? They are hugely uncomfortable, make it easier to fall, cause back problems, but, hey -- call it fashion. What kind of person would spend an equivalent of two years painting her face and plucking out her eyebrows, and putting silicone or saline in her chest? There is a name for this kind of person, 'woman'. Why? Because, we 'men' like it. Don't talk to me about equality. Don't tell me you aren't disabled."

"Unisex studies show it helps men and women employees breed familiarity, so long as they don't come in to just breed."

"Having a child is a selfish thing. Couples don't walk around wanting to give life. They say, we want a child. We want, we want. It is a selfish thing, a good selfish. Selfish."

"Love is an equation, a me and a you derives a we."

"Never trust a second thought. Where there is two there is three. You will end up thinking forever."

"Personal questions don't bother me. I just lie."

"How do these things just spew out of your head like this? Couldn't you at least use your brain as a filter?"
"That remark would hurt if I had feelings."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 comments:

SecondSight said...

I remember watching Ally McBeal ages back on DD! Didn't know it was still running.. must check it out :). Though with any soap I think the first two seasons are the best :)

Suvasini said...

Guess, I just came to the party a little late... ;) I was devoured by books when i was a student and now i am planning on a titanic revenge...

I really don't know if its running still because i am watching it all on netflix.

I guess you are right but I am still on season 1 for this one and didn't have any complaints with FRIENDS either, till season 10. Although House, MD did seem a little draining as the seasons wore off.