Some days are like that. They hit you like that bus around the corner, which you didn't see.... hard and completely unexpected. They leave you winded as you try and make sense of this new world around where everything which seemed eternal and strong one moment ago, seems weak and transient in another. Your world view is left crumbling even as you are left making sense of it all.
Imagine being told on the day after your birthday that your mom was suffering from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and that she has only a year to live. Imagine that you've had troubles right through your growing up years and that in a week of receiving this horrendous news, you have the finals of a Law School semester. Imagine you as a young, confused adult, trying to make up his mind about the love of his life. Now, imagine what you would do if all this came upon you in one day along with more practical problems like loans, jobs, salaries, treatment costs, home bills etc etc.
Today was one such day, not for me really, but for someone i barely know. The story left me empathizing with someone I have never met or spoken to. Someone who is the friend of a new acquaintance of mine but then when I heard the whole story, i couldn't just carry on with my saturday, as if everything were normal.
It is when things like this jump out at you, that you are made to sit down and evaluate - your life and that of your loved ones. Someone else's misfortune makes you count your blessings.
I know, that as I listened patiently, I said the right things to someone who was troubled for a friend. I know that if I were to talking to the person who had just been trampled by the bus, I would still be saying the honest truth in the right way. But I wonder what I would be doing, if i had been the victim of destiny's road rage...
Will I still be able to retain my mind and my sanity. Will I be able to empathize with the pain of others even as i cope with mine ? Will I be able to compartmentalize and do what needs to be done ? Will I be able to listen to advice and take the call for myself and for the ones I care ?
The truth is I don't know but i do hope so.
I also believe that we all have the ability to take charge and do what needs to be done. Its a certain resilience that mankind has evolved with but we need to dig deep down to tap into this reservoir of strength. One needs to know and understand this one basic truth that No one but us, can solve our problems. Problems don't get solved by staying quiet and shutting down. Problems also don't get solved by talking about them. Problem get solved by accepting them and doing something about them. Problems get solved by letting destiny do its part while you do your own. Problems get solved by thinking about them, by listening to all options and by executing the right one.
So while I don't know what I will be doing when life decides to roll the dice for me, I do hope that I come back and read this note on the day when i really need someone to tell me this.
I also hope i read the song below and glean those nuggets of truth just so I can get through life.
"The Sunscreen song...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen… "
I hope I remember....
Imagine being told on the day after your birthday that your mom was suffering from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and that she has only a year to live. Imagine that you've had troubles right through your growing up years and that in a week of receiving this horrendous news, you have the finals of a Law School semester. Imagine you as a young, confused adult, trying to make up his mind about the love of his life. Now, imagine what you would do if all this came upon you in one day along with more practical problems like loans, jobs, salaries, treatment costs, home bills etc etc.
Today was one such day, not for me really, but for someone i barely know. The story left me empathizing with someone I have never met or spoken to. Someone who is the friend of a new acquaintance of mine but then when I heard the whole story, i couldn't just carry on with my saturday, as if everything were normal.
It is when things like this jump out at you, that you are made to sit down and evaluate - your life and that of your loved ones. Someone else's misfortune makes you count your blessings.
I know, that as I listened patiently, I said the right things to someone who was troubled for a friend. I know that if I were to talking to the person who had just been trampled by the bus, I would still be saying the honest truth in the right way. But I wonder what I would be doing, if i had been the victim of destiny's road rage...
Will I still be able to retain my mind and my sanity. Will I be able to empathize with the pain of others even as i cope with mine ? Will I be able to compartmentalize and do what needs to be done ? Will I be able to listen to advice and take the call for myself and for the ones I care ?
The truth is I don't know but i do hope so.
I also believe that we all have the ability to take charge and do what needs to be done. Its a certain resilience that mankind has evolved with but we need to dig deep down to tap into this reservoir of strength. One needs to know and understand this one basic truth that No one but us, can solve our problems. Problems don't get solved by staying quiet and shutting down. Problems also don't get solved by talking about them. Problem get solved by accepting them and doing something about them. Problems get solved by letting destiny do its part while you do your own. Problems get solved by thinking about them, by listening to all options and by executing the right one.
So while I don't know what I will be doing when life decides to roll the dice for me, I do hope that I come back and read this note on the day when i really need someone to tell me this.
I also hope i read the song below and glean those nuggets of truth just so I can get through life.
"The Sunscreen song...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen… "
I hope I remember....
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