Life lessons from the kitchen....

Apophenia is the tendency to find patterns where none exist. And we all do it at one time or another, intentional or unintentional. We are constantly trying to put pieces together and trying to make sense. Perhaps this tendency gets more acute when life is moving along on an auto pilot mode as was happening with me. And so on one of those lazy saturday weekends, when i spend half my day cooking (in the kitchen, not stories in my head... ;)), this odd idea popped up in my mind. The idea was about the many parallels between life and cooking or rather life and food... other than the very obvious one that each is essential to the other (of course)... ;)

Somehow, even as i chopped and boiled and ground and seasoned, this idea did not leave my head. From a stray thought, It grew into a metaphor. It may sound crazy but hopefully by the end of this post, you might be able to come up with more similarities than what I' ve managed so far.  

Now, these are weeks approaching Halloween and thanksgiving and squashes and pumpkins seem to be sprouting up everywhere in grocery stores. The story began as I ended up buying a green acorn squash just out of curiosity. I mean, I really had no clue about the taste or cooking protocol for this vegetable but I was curious. So I said to myself, what the hell, we'll figure it out! So I bought that acorn and the first thing I wanted to do (before cooking it) was to find out about the vegetable itself. How hard is it  (and trust me it was quite an exercise cutting it with my inexperienced but old knife) ? How long should i cook ? Does it expand or shrivel on cooking ? How does it taste - is it sweet, sour, bitter or bland ?  I was only looking at making some good old simple soup as the mercury was dipping lower and lower for my tastes... But then even for that, i needed to know this information ! And that's when it occurred to me that in some way people are like the ingredients we work with. They are all good in their own ways but not everything works well in every situation and you don't like everything all the time... When working with new vegetables and ingredients, its good to know what they taste like on their own; with people too, its good to know them for what they are before coloring them with your expectations and visions. Every ingredient has its unique flavors and one has to use its talents appropriately for the magic to work. With people too, one has to know their flavor and their personality. Expecting people to do what they hate simply because you want it that way is a recipe for disaster ! But then I couldn't possibly know about a person like i did for that acorn squash now, Can I ? And so I have to observe and be patient and be non-judgmental in that period...  Cos, after all i really dont know anything !! And once that exploratory phase is over, I may not like what i know and that doesn't make anyone good or bad. It just means that fitting is off...  and so you look for another glove / sock or whatever it is that you were looking for...

I am a little too impatient with cooking (and a few other things but that's perhaps for another post). Not for me the long waits next to the stove, stirring, boiling, waiting for something to cook or reduce. It certainly pays off in terms of taste a lot of the times but mostly, I hate those periods of inaction staring at and stirring the pot... One thing I do of course is to cook multiple things at the same time as result of which, my empty periods are occupied with one hing or another. So while I wait for something to boil, I chop another. Or while I wait for something to cook, I beat another. But for the same reason, I also love a pressure cooker. (As much as it had surprised my american flat mate the first time she saw it and as much as I hate that sudden whistle shrieking its way through my quiet room), I love the pressure cooker. It cooks things soooo fast - pulses to potatoes to rice and what not. And now the parallel: As with cooking, pressure helps in life too. It forces us to commit ourselves entirely to the task at hand - but again, too much pressure only leaves you mushy, over-cooked and tasteless after a point and it does destroy some nutrients. So as with cooking, pressure in right amounts is the key in life too... Something that some of those maniacal bosses and coaches need to learn !!

Now I have a weird system at my place as I cook multiple things but in large quantities. And then I eat small amounts of each in daily aliquots in permutations and combinations. And I also like a wholesome meal... It makes me feel wonderful when I have a full three course meal - as in with a soup, a main course and a dessert. None of these are fancy or exotic but they are just there in their basic elements. One could, on principle, disregard the order in which we eat (or are rather supposed to eat) but then I can't ever imagine having a nice warm soup after my chocolate/sugar fix. And in some ways, so it is with life; some things are best done at certain stages in life. There is always plenty of room for variation and occasional try-outs but its good for adults to be mature and for children to retain their innocence. It alarms me when i see some of these young kids on facebook and internet, looking up and knowing all kinds of stuff before they are even capable of knowing or understanding it.

Now, coming back to the kitchen, I have a gigantic sweet tooth. I can probably never refuse a dessert and everyone who knows me will believe this... ;) But even for me, desserts are tasty only upto a point. I can only have one cheesecake or a mousse at onetime. After that, I hate the excessive sweetness soo much that i am hunting down some chips. And I know in life too, too much happiness will never be satisfying...Life is good only when you struggle to get what you want and when you've fought hard to get what you deserve. As with food, life is good only when it has all the emotions - sweet, sour, bitter and tangy and all those other tastes that i am not writing down.

Now some people eat for living and some others live for eating. I am definitely of the former kind. I love good food but not so much that I undertake a lot of trouble. I could eat just about anything to keep doing what i have to. Yes ! It is not a great way to relish food and life but then that's how I grew up. What this also does is give me a certain kind of fearlessness when i am cooking for myself. Because I know that whatever it is I can eat it, I experiment with almost gay abandon.... ;) I only try to see the basic physics of what I am trying to do and then I just go about it... Recipes are not things i adhere to rigidly. I feel that recipes are a good platform to get a feel for the dish you are cooking but you make it your own by being fearless when cooking. You can't keep waiting for all the ingredients to be in your hand...you have to adapt and start making it your own. As with life, you will never have all that you wish for before you start up on your dreams... you just have to work with what you have. I just wish I could be that fearless in life as i am in my kitchen... ;) Yes, disasters will happen (more so when you are experimenting) and one has to be innovative and creative to come up with solutions. And sometimes, you end up inventing wonderfully weird things just because you were not boxed in by what was done...

But while I dont strictly follow a recipe, I do have a plan. Before i head out for my weekly grocery shopping, i do think of what i want to eat the coming week and then i buy things accordingly. I make sure that I am not eating more junk than i should and that all my major food groups are covered. I am sure everyone who manages a kitchen has to do this to maximize efficiency. In life too, one must be prepared and one must know what they are trying to do. Randomly chopping or mixing is not going to be productive. Working towards a goal needs a plan and some degree of forethought. 

Sometimes as with all other things in life, things go wrong in the kitchen too - things burn, char, stay soggy or raw...basically, things go wrong. Either the dough is too watery or too dry. Either too soft or too brittle. Not everything happens the way you expected. And that's when one has to think out of the box and come up with solutions. Adding more water/flour or salt may fix some problems. Dilution or concentrating or mixing something else may help too. One has to let go of the problem and think dispassionately and rationally. Also one has to know when to stop and when to start afresh. In life too, things will go wrong... sometimes you can mend them, sometimes not. Be prepared for failures in life but also know that there are times when you should stop and there are times when you should go on.

Now imagine a basic kitchen. Nothing fancy. Just something you would want to have if you were forced to cook in a new place for a few days. What are the spices you would want to carry ? What are the ones you can leave out. As much as you may love the taste of basil or the smell of oregano, they are not the ones you cannot live without. Salt and sugar as the essential ingredients in a minimalistic pantry. In life too, a few friends and family are essential. The others are the other spices. They make the food richer and more wonderful but they are not essential. 

Now, any cookery show or a chef would insist greatly on presentation. The coriander leaf on top or the chocolate swirl around.... they definitely make the food look yummy and stir up the salivary juices. But we all know that no matter how good-looking the food is outside, we all eventually miss the shabby looking "ghar ka khana"... As with food, so with life, appearances can be deceptive. One can get a lot of pleasure (and health) from the plain or rather ugly looking khichdi while the rich and wonderful looking steak-roast can do a lot more harm in the long run.

Now for my final nugget.. (I Promise.. ;)) 

Nutty as it may sound, nuts make our food and our lives richer ! Just as biting into that occasional nut in the middle of a delightfully chocolatey brownie improves the taste of the rest of the brownie, meeting an occasional nut in life too, makes you value the goodness around you. I have re-assessed my evaluation of so many people around me and my expectations from life - thanks to those occasional morons i have run into... ;) (And even as I write this, I am sure i have provided the same pleasure to some other people...things afterall tend to come around a full circle) !! ;)

Anyways, to wind up that stray thought/ metaphor...  Happy living and happy cooking !! ;)