Things I wish I remember...

These are some thoughts friends have left me with and these are things are intend to remember....
I wish I remember these notes all the time, every time...

"You are fully capable of pushing yourself and your limits.. i know you want to do the maximum that can be in 24 hours.. that you want no time wasted.. you want to run fast and get somewhere.. even if you don't know where that somewhere is.. you don't want to stagnate.. that you want to keep moving.. after all the rolling stones gathers no moss..

but while doing all that.. don't forget to look around.. don't forget that as you are trying to achieve something, life may just pass you by.. so do try to stop take a breather and celebrate how far you have got.. not to make you complacent.. but to give you the impetus to move further.. to accelerate the enthusiasm.. to see how many people are happy for you.. the people who are with you.. will not only encourage/appreciate you.. but also ground you..

don't forget that today your body is agile.. and will survive whatever you do to it! but in your tomorrow.. anything you do today, will reflect.. take care of it.. respect it.. you just need to listen to it.. and you are fine.. you are learning to appreciate your judgment and gut instincts.. :) go with it.. and you will be fine..

take care of yourself..
no matter what you do or achieve.. its YOU that your people will love, not your achievements..
though of course there wont be anyone happier/prouder of what you achieve..
do be a go-getter.. but exercise a little caution.. for the sake of the ones who love you.."

"Life is not always unfair. Things can never go that bad. Don't be scared thinking that things will always go bad. Even by the law of averages, things will change for the better... "

"I Believe I Can Fly"

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly
Fly-eye-eye

---

R Kelly

I have always loved the idea of flight. In my mind, flight has always been associated with freedom - freedom from bondages, fears, inhibitions and pain, of exploring life uninhibited, the idea of being one with the wind, having it whisper into your ears and reaching heights never seen before, has always held a grip on me....

But then, in the humdrum of everyday life, i often forget this dream of mine... It gets buried under a patina of monotony, duty and routine and like the tarnish on bronze, the winds of time and change end up feeding on my dream. But then, this song breathes life into my dream. It reminds me of flight and the very idea of it has the ability to make me happy and serene. This is a song that takes me closer to my dream and my vision...

In moments of despair, in moments of joy, in moments of solitude and in moments of loneliness... This song has the uncanny ability to calm me down and make me want to fly.

It never fails to reconnect me to my dream.
It never fails to make me want to fly... it makes me want to give another try... !!!

Its a song I love and it makes my day in the darkest hours...

A childhood lesson...

A brief glimpse down the memory lane made me recall this one sentence which was a constant companion through my school days. Hours were spent in the evenings, trying to write this sentence multiple times in cursive hand -

"A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog".

I was always amazed by the fact that this simple sentence contains all the alphabets in the english language (which of course made it a pangram) !

I used to occasionally wonder how many of these are around...

And then a simple google search on a lazy monday morning yielded a huge list of pangrams.... none of these however seemed as elegant as this one simple sentence...

Here is a partial list that i came across.... Wonder if you have any ?

• Nymphs blitz quick vex dwarf jog. (27 letters)
• Big fjords vex quick waltz nymph. (27 letters)
• Bawds jog, flick quartz, vex nymph. (27 letters)
• Bawds jog, flick quartz, vex nymphs. (28 letters)
• Waltz, bad nymph, for quick jigs vex! (28 letters)
• Fox nymphs grab quick-jived waltz. (28 letters)
• Glib jocks quiz nymph to vex dwarf. (28 letters)
• Bright vixens jump; dozy fowl quack. (29 letters)
• Vexed nymphs go for quick waltz job. (29 letters)
• Jack fox bids ivy-strewn phlegm quiz (30 letters)
• How quickly daft jumping zebras vex. (30 letters)
• Two driven jocks help fax my big quiz. (30 letters)
• "Now fax quiz Jack!" my brave ghost pled. (30 letters)
• Vamp fox held quartz duck just by wing. (31 letters)
• Five quacking zephyrs jolt my wax bed. (31 letters
• The five boxing wizards jump quickly. (31 letters)
• Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. (31 letters)
  
• Kvetching, flummoxed by job, W.zaps Iraq. (32 letters)
  
• My ex pub quiz crwd gave joyful thanks. (32 letters)
• Few quips galvanized the mock jury box. (32 letters)
• The jay, pig, fox, zebra, and my wolves quack! (33 letters)
• Quizzical twins proved my hijack-bug fix. (34 letters)
• The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. (35 letters) (Used to test typewriters and computer keyboards, and as sample text; famous for its coherency, dating back to 1888)
• Wolf zombies spot the jinxed grave. (36 letters)
• Heavy boxes perform quick waltzes and jigs. (36 letters)
• A quick chop jolted my big sexy frozen wives. (36 letters)
• A wizard’s job is to vex chumps quickly in fog. (36 letters)
• Sympathizing would fix Quaker objectives. (36 letters)
  
• Pack my red box with five dozen quality jugs. (36 letters)
• Fake bugs put in wax jonquils drive him crazy. (37 letters)
• Woven silk pyjamas exchanged for blue quartz. (38 letters)
  
• Brawny gods just flocked up to quiz and vex him. (38 letters)
• My faxed joke won a pager in the cable TV quiz show. (39 letters)
• The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf. (39 letters)
  

Happily forgetful and forgetfully happy !!!

Memory - our ability to remember.
Who would not want more of it ? We all yearn to remember a little more - that one extra book, one more dialogue, another new name or that old wicked answer !! Intelligence is often understood to be linked with a sharp memory. Almost all of us would like to have a fabulous memory - to be able to recall every tiny detail, as we try and pack our brains with as many facts, figures and details as we possibly can. In our attempts to remember everything, we lose track of the fact that forgetting is no less important.

In fact, as someone rightly said - "What makes us human is not our ability to remember. It is our ability to forget."

Imagine remembering every tiny detail about every single day for years on end. An excess of memory and we would find our mind cluttered with the minutiae of everyday existence - the shape of the cup, the crack on the side, the level of the tea, the temperature outside, the day, date and time, the brand of tea, the texture of the scones, the colors, the smells, the feelings and the emotions - All this with one cup of tea. Imagine this on a daily basis. for every activity of the day and you can imagine the nightmare that it will be. It would become impossible to glean relevant information in a timely manner from these heaps of facts. It would be like fishing for a needle in haystack all the time.

Now, imagine surviving the horrors of the world with such tireless memory. Our adverse experiences haunting us forever with the same intensity as that of the initial experience. One's entire life would just become a ceaseless trauma. The past would haunt us forever simply because we remember it far too well, to let go.

And this is why forgetting is more important than remembering. The ability of our brain to weed out unnecessary information as it builds connections in the brain is what makes us human. It is indeed this so called "handicap" of ours, this inability to remember that becomes our true strength.
And thus, every time I feel like kicking myself for not recalling that book, that line or that story, and when i catch myself wishing for more hard disk in my head, i show myself the possible consequences of having a great memory.... :)

And then I am back to my happier forgetful self again... :)

A tiny list that keeps me going... :)

Sitting by the window ledge sipping chocolate all snuggled in a blanket...Walking on the beach with the waves lapping at my feet... traveling the world to capture its glory through my lenses....translating the visions of my mind on to a blank paper.... Sitting by a brook listening to its heart beat.... walking on a long country road, smelling the grass... listening to the rain drops... walking on the dew drops... gazing at the night sky... sitting on an open lawn as the sun sleeps and the moon stays on guard with you by my side... hearing the silences that dwell in the heart of the mountain peaks... listening to the sounds of the jungle... making wood sing... reading by the lamp light in a place of my own... feeling the wetness on the nose of my favorite canine waking me up on a lazy morning... snuggling up in my blanket without a care in the world... playing with colors... walking like the roads never end... flying with the wind in my hair... gliding like a bird... swimming like the fish exploring the depths unseen...

A tiny list that keeps me going... :)

The inheritance of time...

Of the many things that we inherit, I am most amazed by our ability to view the past and the future while still trudging through the present.

We get a glimpse of our future in the life of our parents.
It is amazing how, as we grow, we tend to become more and more like them. While the nature vs nurture debate is still on going, the fact of the matter is, that we inherit both of these from them in more ways than one. Appearances, mannerisms, attitudes, aptitudes, priorities are all inherited from them in some measure, modified by the ways of the world and then passed on further. And thus, as part of our true inheritance we can potentially visualize our future in the lives of our parents. Few rarely realize or appreciate this gift of foresight. Foresight, about the consequences of our actions and their impact on us and the world. If only we would learn the right lessons and remember them long enough, we could carve out a very different future for ourselves. The tragedy of life however is that in avoiding some mistakes, we end up making others but then at least one knows that "they tried" to make a difference.

We also get a chance to re-live our childhoods with a greater awareness of it through our children. It gives us the ability to peep into a past, to sit down and revisit our childhood for its simple pleasures, amidst the flurry of daily activity. Our children are an essence of us that we leave behind in the world. They give us an opportunity to make the changes that we desired. They give us an opportunity to revisit some experiences with greater clarity and experience. They provide us with an opportunity to rectify the errors of the past and to lay a better foundation for the future.

Thus, our true inheritance lies in our being able to view a glimpse of our future in our present and to revisit our past. I wish I am able to learn the right lessons and remember them too....

I wish...

I want to share the calm of a sun set with you...
I want to feel the chillness of the winds with the warmth of your hand...
I want to breathe the peace of a sunrise with you...
I want to feel the glistening early morning dew on my feet with you....
I want to walk in the rains holding onto you...
I want to gaze at the night sky with you by my side...
I want to leave my footprints in the sand with you to hold my hand...
I want to tell you the reason for my every tear and my every smile...
I want to have you by my side when I sleep only to find you there when i wake up...
I want to run to you like a child with careless abandon...
I want to listen to you for hours on end...
I want to tell you all I can...
I want to find myself through you even as I lose myself...
I want to grow old with you...
I want to dance with you to the tune of ecstasy, every day of my life...
I want to see the world through your eyes even as I expand my vision...
I want to walk with you for as long as I can, through the deepest, darkest woods...
I want to learn like a child all over again, only with you...
I want to share my silences with you even as the words tumble out by the dozen...
I want to live my life with you in it, all along the way...

I wish i find you...

Like I find myself...

Living in the shadows...

Ever so often life becomes so good that nothing after that compares well to it and it leaves you feeling incomplete and miserable....
What do you do when things are good and life is filled with laughter and happiness ?

A part of me cries out in caution against letting myself go with the tide. Telling me over and over that this is just momentary and that by letting myself experience the joy, i am only increasing my sorrows in the future. It holds me back from just letting go of myself and being happy. The worry of being dependent on the source of happiness in the future and the pain in not having it close, force me, to maintain a distance from every happiness that comes across my way. Fear of not having the same in the future push me away from it in the present too... I live my life in the shadow of the past and the future.

However, even as my fears of the future cast a shadow on my present, another part of me, tells me to just let go my inhibitions and enjoy !!! To enjoy the present, the company, the moment... with careless abandon simply because it may not be there tomorrow.

How do I reconcile these two opinions ? How do I let go of the fear of pain in the future ? Isn't it akin to not learning from your mistakes in the past... ? How can one move away from the past and the future only to truly live in the present ? Is that even possible ?

Every moment in my mind, all I hear is "This too shall pass"...
How then do you live carefree ?