What's in a name afterall ?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Shakespeare said that in 17th century and I tended to agree with him even in the twenty first century till of course I encountered an identity crisis of my own.

What is in a name ? It is just a way of being addressed that you choose (or rather your parents choose and you live with).... Isn't it ? You as a person are going to stay the same no matter whether you are called Joe or a J or a Juliet.

Or so I thought for the first 29 odd years of my life, till experience came knocking...

And then I came to the United States of America where it seemed like all names were drawn from a limited pool of nouns. Almost every guy was a Robert (aka Bob) or a James (aka Jim) or a John (Thankfully stayed John) or a Fred (aka Rusty) or variations thereof. Almost every girl was a Stephanie or a Julie or a Wendy or a Jill or a Jane or a similar modification of these similar names. And then in between all these names was mine - Suvasini. It was rare enough in India but here, I sure was one in a million... :)

All through my life I had lived with an unusual name. A name which required some spelling and enunciation corrections but more often than not people would eventually be able to call me out. I have heard many a variation on this name - Subhashini, Suvashini, Savasini, Savasni, Suvasni, Suhasini, Suhashini, and sometimes very rarely someone would latch onto Suvasini, the right way. But as you see they are not very far from the desired name... And so i lived with the alterations. I lived with the mutations and I lived with Shakespeare's wisdom encapsulated in those opening few words.

Actually, more than the alterations (or the mutations as the biologist in me would like to call them), what irked me a little was the first question that many people would ask : "So were you named after the actress - Suhasini?". Well, there was a famous actress called Suhasini and she was pretty good at her job too (I was certainly not embarrassed by her - nothing like having Saddam Hussein being your name pal) but... And this is a major BUT, I wasn't named Suvasini in honor of Suhasini.... They are just similar sounding names which mean completely (or atleast) very different things (almost like but and butt)...

Now, Don't get me wrong !! I am not complaining about my parents' unusual choice for a name. I love the name and the sound of it. It is a beautiful name (and trust me I am taking no credit for it as i had no say in the matter). I also love the fact that my name has a wonderful meaning and It almost feels like a blessing that came to me the day I was named and that was going to stay with me for the rest of my life, no matter what (I am definitely counting out a name change or an entry into a witness protection program here - those are rare events after all)...

But, I realized that I had a problem on hand when people couldn't get themselves to say my name in this new country. They just couldn't wrap this one word around their tongues.... I encountered it on my first day of orientation but then the PR personnel in a multinational institution are skilled enough to get by (with an hour long conversation also) without using your name (or using it rarely) and by asking you to fill out the umpteen forms. And then realization dawned when I walked into an orientation with the staff for animal work. There I gave my name out three times, pronouncing it each time like I was spelling out "Tri nitro Toluene" and I had a feeling that spelling TNT might have been easier, than was my name. I finally decided to take a more elaborate way of getting people to appreciate the word. I launched into a small note about how Indian names usually have a meaning and how my very own meant "one who lives well" - coming from the Sanskrit for good which is "Su" and the "Vas" which means "living". While the explanation took a while, the mission was a success because John (beware, I dont always use the right names.. ;)), my instructor for the day, caught on with the name and remembers it 4 months hence and never forgets to wave me a "hi" with my full name right behind it... :)

Different people here have gotten through the challenge differently. Some have chosen to ask me for the abbreviated version and have referred to me by that. Some have shortened it on their own to Su or Sue (can't really detect the spelling from the enunciation). Some have stuck with the full name and made very good attempts at getting it right. Some however are unable to deal with it and are unable to ask me "n" number of times (n being more than 2) and so they chose to not refer to me by name. Now this could work in a lot of situations say with people who end up calling me "lady" or "roomie" or "buddy" or "girl" but then in some situations like a more formal setting this system doesn't quite work (as you very well can see). And so my instructor in one of the classes resorts to visual communication. While we are all made to read passages out of our notes, she is unable to come up with a tangible sound and only manages to give me a sorry/nervous glimpse every time it is my turn.

And I appropriately react but this did put me in the throes of an identity crisis of sorts.

For a while, I could hear the taunts of all those Indian-Americans (whom i had secretly taunted) who shorten or alter their names - Jayachandran becoming Jay, Ramakrishnan or variants thereof that become Ram or Lakshmi becoming just Lax or of Madhavan becoming Maddy... I had never been very fond of these Americanized (or rather westernized) names because to me they were patronizing and they took the essence out of the name (I mean names which had a meaning became just words or rather sounds). But then when it came to my name, i did start seeing a reason as to why people did it. I am still not overtly enthusiastic about my cutting short my name but then it is difficult to keep looking at people wondering when they are talking to you... And if people are going be sensitive about asking for my name more than a couple of times, it doesn't really give me much time or opportunity to explain the meaning of my name or its essence... I mean, I can't possibly give a speech on my name and its meeting for an introduction... Imagine meeting someone who went on and on and on about their name "Hi ! :) My name is Suvasini. Su-Va-sini. I am an Indian and in India, most of the names have meaning. My name is derived from the Sanskrit language and it means, some one who lives well. My parents had great hopes and/or illusions... ;P" bla bla bla

(I do realize that is exactly what I am doing right now but then you have the opportunity of shutting your browser and so if you are still reading, it is out of choice; but the poor listener would not have the option of that life saving click )!!!!

So anyways, while, I am occasionally tempted to trim my name a little, i almost always choose to stick it out and let people juggle with the tongue twister of sorts. It is an exercise at pronunciation for them... to make sure they can roll their tongues in all the right ways.

And before you do reach out for that mouse to click on the close button, I am going to shut my trap and let you have your peaceful moments.

You are however welcome to click on the comments button and sympathize with me or send in some bricks or bats.... I will bear with the consequences of my actions one way or another.

Ah as for Shakespeare... I guess, names do matter... !!