For some reason it started a trail of thoughts in my mind which all culminated in my visit to NIMHANS a little while ago. The identity of "me" is a question with multiple dimensions to itself and has been encountered by most people at some point in time or another. The question, I guess, becomes more poignant when one ends up visiting an institution of mental health as i happened to do.
A forlorn look, haunted eyes, a wandering smile, a sleepy gait, a stuttered speech, a lost look, a cheerless and hopeless visage... these are all the sights that one can't miss in the dark corridors of NIMHANS. What one sees is a striking reminder of the question - what makes you "you" ? In the damp, dark and dusty corridors of NIMHANS, I have seen people who hardly appear conscious of their existence. They wander through the dark alleys holding the hand of their guardian which appears to be their last connection with life. Then there are those who seem like they are lost in themselves….these apparently healthy looking individuals fail to show any sign of recognition of the world around them. They meander through the corridors unresponsive to the world around them. There are some who are the ultimate personification of havoc and misery. Their eyes are devoid of any signs of life and they haunt you forever with their despair and hopelessness…. These people seem to be lost in a world that we are not a part of, even as they trudge through our world, leaving their footprints in our time.
The idea of being a stranger to oneself is a very scary thought indeed!!
Such encounters only reinforce in me, my belief in my mind and in it being the core of my existence. In these people, I find an able body trapped in the world in the absence of an able mind, lost in the maze around them, moving through space and time with no recognition of either... while, on the other hand, an able mind can leading to a happy and fulfilling existence despite a challenged body...
I think i just found my biggest fear in the last few days... I hope that I never have to lead an existence without knowing myself, lost in the maze around me… I hope, i never have to encounter such darkness within me...
2 comments:
lost in the maze around me... that was a very good way of put that together.. how true those words are for a person who is physically strong and able but lost in a maze which never began according to him and has no end we are sure of..
what you say is true... It is haunting indeed... !!
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