The mind does play tricks with you... Ever so often reality doesn't seem real till something just hits you hard in the pit of your stomach and then the world seems like a different place altogether....
It took a couple of signatures and a few forms for me to suddenly become aware of the new emergent reality of my life..
The realization brought with it a sudden gloom which just seeped through my being. It left me wanting to reconsider all of my plans and all of my my thoughts till then.
My imminent departure...
To a new world which always seemed close enough to touch but suddenly became very real... a journey had begun and the end was near. An end for world as i knew it, in the folds of familiarity, with people and places i knew, where everything seemed mine and where i just fit in... I had grown into this world as it warmly embraced me into its folds... I had grown up here with my joys and sorrows, friends and foes, with laughter and tears...
And now I needed to pick up my roots and move all alone to an alien land and find my own space there. With no one familiar, things are scary and strange. What will happen to the people here, to the people who are so much a part of my life here ? How can I leave behind so much of me and still be myself... Will things ever be the same ? Friends and family, houses and homes, roads and rivers.... I have had so many wonderful people walk into my life making things great for me, so much so, that i am scared of leaving it all behind...
Like a little bird who so wants to fly and see the world, I too want to make a mark on my own... find my space under the sun. But that just needs to me go away from my home and my people... into an alien land where things are not going to be the same... Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it all but then i imagine myself twenty years from now and I don't want to hold on to regrets... and so I decide to take the plunge with a heavy heart and worried mind...
on the wings of hope, i decide to fly... to find my own world...
It took a couple of signatures and a few forms for me to suddenly become aware of the new emergent reality of my life..
The realization brought with it a sudden gloom which just seeped through my being. It left me wanting to reconsider all of my plans and all of my my thoughts till then.
My imminent departure...
To a new world which always seemed close enough to touch but suddenly became very real... a journey had begun and the end was near. An end for world as i knew it, in the folds of familiarity, with people and places i knew, where everything seemed mine and where i just fit in... I had grown into this world as it warmly embraced me into its folds... I had grown up here with my joys and sorrows, friends and foes, with laughter and tears...
And now I needed to pick up my roots and move all alone to an alien land and find my own space there. With no one familiar, things are scary and strange. What will happen to the people here, to the people who are so much a part of my life here ? How can I leave behind so much of me and still be myself... Will things ever be the same ? Friends and family, houses and homes, roads and rivers.... I have had so many wonderful people walk into my life making things great for me, so much so, that i am scared of leaving it all behind...
Like a little bird who so wants to fly and see the world, I too want to make a mark on my own... find my space under the sun. But that just needs to me go away from my home and my people... into an alien land where things are not going to be the same... Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it all but then i imagine myself twenty years from now and I don't want to hold on to regrets... and so I decide to take the plunge with a heavy heart and worried mind...
on the wings of hope, i decide to fly... to find my own world...
1 comment:
so much of emotions hidden in my stubborn friend :-) feels gud to read :-)
Welcome yourself to San Diego, begin your countdown :P
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