What makes a relationship work ?
Are people like jigsaw pieces who fit together and complement each other to make a whole... or are they like clay casts which can be moulded such that all relationships are possible... ???
At a time when i am bombarded with the question of what i am looking for in a future partner, i wonder, what is necessary for a relationship - similarities, differences, liking/love, respect, acceptance, some inherent compatibility or chemistry ? I wonder what makes a relationship ? What are the pre-requisites... ? Are there any ?
I try to figure my way around these questions but they do come back to me every now and then...
The more I think, the more I feel that the only thing required to make a relationship work is love and with it perhaps will come all the other things that lay the foundations of a strong relationship. People are different and nothing can change that. People have shades of good and bad... We just need to find the acceptance in us to deal with all of that. We need to have the liking for a person, the will for a relationship which will overcome all the differences. People can after all agree to disagree in a mature and sensible way ! And with love, I am sure comes tolerance and acceptance and the will to change... I find it difficult to accept that people change but I also know that they can change if they choose to ! The love that a relationship brings in can perhaps be a catalyst for greater change.
And as I work these aspects into my mind, i also wonder if love is sufficient. To me it seems to be, but is it ? After all love is nothing but hormones and chemicals surging through the blood stream causing the release of neurotransmitters and altering neuronal firing rates....
For now, i seem to believe though that one's love for a person is the only catalyst that is needed to stabilize a relationship and carry it through...
It gives you the strength to accept, to learn, to confess, to have faith, to be honest and to forgive... It is the force which stabilizes the relationship and propels it forward...
But what leads you to love ? I don't know and i cant quite put a finger on it... Is it attraction that holds the door open for love ? Is it similarities in the thought processes... Or is it just differences in approaches ? Perhaps, a combination of them all. For some its the charm, for some it is the wit...
Sometimes you fall in love in a way you cant rationalize, you just like the person despite all the similarities and the differences. It is perhaps something they call as chemistry... when you like someone just as they are... you love talking to them, laughing with them, being a part of their lives and making them a part of yours...
I still dont know what i want but i know that it takes two to make a relationship work and if even one person is not sure of it, its wiser to just step back and wait for the answers to emerge... Sometimes, life has a way of getting the answers to you, you can't snap things into place... they sometimes just melt in given the time... Maybe this is an explanation or maybe it is an excuse for my passivity... But, for now I just know that I am looking for love and that I don't have a checklist to be sure of.... I guess, I am just going to wait to feel the rightness and for someone else to feel the same way before i take the leap... !!! :)
Are people like jigsaw pieces who fit together and complement each other to make a whole... or are they like clay casts which can be moulded such that all relationships are possible... ???
At a time when i am bombarded with the question of what i am looking for in a future partner, i wonder, what is necessary for a relationship - similarities, differences, liking/love, respect, acceptance, some inherent compatibility or chemistry ? I wonder what makes a relationship ? What are the pre-requisites... ? Are there any ?
I try to figure my way around these questions but they do come back to me every now and then...
The more I think, the more I feel that the only thing required to make a relationship work is love and with it perhaps will come all the other things that lay the foundations of a strong relationship. People are different and nothing can change that. People have shades of good and bad... We just need to find the acceptance in us to deal with all of that. We need to have the liking for a person, the will for a relationship which will overcome all the differences. People can after all agree to disagree in a mature and sensible way ! And with love, I am sure comes tolerance and acceptance and the will to change... I find it difficult to accept that people change but I also know that they can change if they choose to ! The love that a relationship brings in can perhaps be a catalyst for greater change.
And as I work these aspects into my mind, i also wonder if love is sufficient. To me it seems to be, but is it ? After all love is nothing but hormones and chemicals surging through the blood stream causing the release of neurotransmitters and altering neuronal firing rates....
For now, i seem to believe though that one's love for a person is the only catalyst that is needed to stabilize a relationship and carry it through...
It gives you the strength to accept, to learn, to confess, to have faith, to be honest and to forgive... It is the force which stabilizes the relationship and propels it forward...
But what leads you to love ? I don't know and i cant quite put a finger on it... Is it attraction that holds the door open for love ? Is it similarities in the thought processes... Or is it just differences in approaches ? Perhaps, a combination of them all. For some its the charm, for some it is the wit...
Sometimes you fall in love in a way you cant rationalize, you just like the person despite all the similarities and the differences. It is perhaps something they call as chemistry... when you like someone just as they are... you love talking to them, laughing with them, being a part of their lives and making them a part of yours...
I still dont know what i want but i know that it takes two to make a relationship work and if even one person is not sure of it, its wiser to just step back and wait for the answers to emerge... Sometimes, life has a way of getting the answers to you, you can't snap things into place... they sometimes just melt in given the time... Maybe this is an explanation or maybe it is an excuse for my passivity... But, for now I just know that I am looking for love and that I don't have a checklist to be sure of.... I guess, I am just going to wait to feel the rightness and for someone else to feel the same way before i take the leap... !!! :)
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