Future comes calling...

The future came knocking on my door today...
A future that i had hoped for and wished for...
a future i had craved for and dreamt of,
a future that had given my life some purpose for the past few years...
I knew it would come but then today, finally the knock came...

Its time to leave... !!

Am I ecstatic ? Am I on cloud nine ?

Well, I should be and I thought i would be ...
but strangely, as the future came knocking, the present and the past suddenly became dearer...
A world that i was longing to get away from suddenly had a strong hold on me...
The unknown is creating a fear in the pit of my stomach....
Farewells are suddenly imminent and so very real...
Distances are suddenly close...
Its a big step and I am reluctant to take it...

There is so much i have to leave behind...
There are so many pieces of me scattered all over....
How can I leave them all and go... ?
I want to take them all with me but I also know its not possible...
How do i detach myself from the people who are so much a part of me ?
How do I uproot myself from everything that made me "ME"
Things will never be the same again...

I know i will find my roots again and i know i'll grow
I know I'll deal with all that comes along
I know things will fall in place
I know its my chance to make my world, my way
and that its a new beginning
but despite all this i just don't want to let go...

I want to hold onto my life here for as long as i can, because deep down inside i know, it will never be the same again...