Gently touched by the first rays of light, the leaves glow with a golden hue as if emanating a divine light… The sunlight filters through these leaves and envelopes you like a warm blanket. It is on one such morning that I 'saw' these trees standing tall in the early morning sun. Waking up early is not a rarity with me and I have often marveled at the beauty of this sight but then for some reason, the true import of this vision had just not hit me for so many years...
Every tree had leaves of different colors and shades not just because of their age and size but also because of how the sunlight illuminated them. Some of the leaves were shining with an inherent brilliance as the first rays of the sun gently nudged them… The others although not very far seemed to be still in the cold as they happened to be away from the path of light. Being in the same part of the world, on the same tree, on the same branch, two leaves in such close proximity indeed had very different fates. Was this destiny ? Was this fate ? Was this controlled by the hand of God ?
The only thought that sprang to my mind was "Of course not !!".... It was just chance and randomness that one leaf happened to be in the direct path of light while the other was not... And at some other point in time, the other leaf will get its share of light... in this day or another, in this month or another or perhaps even in this year or another !!!
Things will even out in the long run...
This thought actually led me to draw a parallel with our lives... Ever so often, I ask myself voicing the question of - "Why me ?", "How can life be so unfair ONLY to me?", "How can the other person be so lucky ?"... Every time things have not gone my way and randomness has played its part in keeping me at the losing end of the spectrum (at least in my perception at that point in time)…my heart and my mind have only cried out this one question… And for at least a decade now, I have explored the various possible answers to this question without a satisfactory explanation…. As a theist, an agnostic and sometimes as a deist, I have tried to understand and address this one question. It is now finally as a pantheist or perhaps an atheist that I think I have come close to finding an acceptable answer….
Why should I consider myself any different from the leaf on the tree ? Sometimes, I am farther away from the rays of light and sometimes, I get plenty of sunshine... This is just pure randomness whereby chance is shaping my life... The only difference is that I, being a sentient being, am capable of making my choices, and directing the course of my life... Why is such randomness easy to accept for me when it comes to a leaf but not when it affects me directly ?
And now every time things fall apart and don't go my way, I try and remind myself of the leaf on the tree at far end of the spectrum...
I cross my fingers and bide my time for the light to come my way... :-)
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