Of love that spurns....

What does one do when the worst comes to pass ? When what you dreaded for all those days, actually manifests ? When you have to stand at the periphery, helpless with your hands tied, watching your precious relationship drifting away….

What do I do when I see the people I love, giving up and going down… What do I do when people lose the spirit of life in them? When they choose inaction over action, submission over passion, fear over courage, obedience over defiance and tolerance over resistance ??

Can I interfere ?

Its their life and it has to be their decision. Its not my choice to make and so I have to stay away.

And so, with my hands tied, I stand at the periphery watching her give up… I scream and yell, wave my hands, but she can't see me. She is probably blinded by her tears. Her vision is probably blurred or maybe she has given up indeed. Away she goes from the dreams she hadn't yet dreamt of and the life she hadn't yet lived…

only because she refused to resist and she refused to dare.

What do you do when at such times, your heart tells you "I told you so"… when your mind refuses to accept that such irrationality can exist in the world…

When you feel cheated by hope and want to give up on it… I have always had a "love-hate" relationship with hope… It comes ever so easily into my life as if it were a lost soul mate visiting after many years… A chance encounter becomes a lovely affair as I fall in love with it all over again. My mind chooses to ignore the warnings of the heart as it lets hope rule… only till the day that reality hits back and I find myself hopeless and alone all over again…

I don’t mind hopelessness. Its brutal but its honest. It spares me the disappointment of failed hopes. It prepares me for the worst. It’s a companion for life. It stands by my side through the turmoil and does not leave me, as hope often does. It keeps me grounded for life as I take every step with caution avoiding every fall and hurt that might litter my path. It walks steady with me and holds on to me.

But then I find my will and my spirit only when hope is around. With her by my side, my labors feel lesser and my burdens lighter. My heart dares to fly only to hit the ground again but, for those few moments, it finds the wind beneath its wings and it flies. It soars above the sorrows and the miseries as it hopes for the best. It finds its spirit and its will. It dares to fight because it hopes for the change it wants.

And so my mind becomes a victim of my heart as it vacillates between hope and hopelessness.