I miss not knowing...

I miss not knowing... My ego and my pride My mistakes in life My needless aim for perfection My need for companionship My prejudices and my stereotypes. I miss not knowing... That there is no bigger plan That our lives are driven by randomness That there is no one up there watching over me That I am a sum of my actions and a lot of chance That not everything is in our hands That money is sometimes more important than you would like it to be. I miss not knowing... Why people are what they are? Why relationships fail? Why people feel pain and sorrow? Why things go wrong? I miss not knowing... The anguish of losing something The pain of falling The pangs of love The distress of envy The burden of guilt The inadequacy of hope. I miss not knowing... my helplessness despite being an adult my inability to set things right my confusion with too much knowledge the complications of adult relationships. I miss not knowing... that fairy tales are just that that people change and somethings are never the same that "sorry" is just another word that some distances can never be bridged that there is so much unknown and that no one has the right answers that things are not always what they seem like that people are built in layers and not always what they seem to be. I miss not knowing... that happiness is just another dream that not all dreams come true that the world is not always a happy place that not everything ends well that life is not made to order that some words are just too hard to say. I wish things were simpler as they were when i was a child... When the world was a happy place and all people were good. When the world was not complicated by too much thinking.... When i knew, I have someone to watch over me...