I have, as so many of us have, always prayed for action and adventure, freedom and excitement, a little disorder and a certain disregard for rules !! I hated to be bound by rules, to be a creature of habit ! As a teenager, or perhaps well into my early twenties, I wanted my life to be unpredictable, to have a certain element of surprise, to be free of rules laid down by my parents, friends, family, school, college or the society…. I hated rules… !!
And then, as the quarter century mark of my life approached, I moved away from home for my higher education (it was a long time ago now) and I came to a new city and set up my new world. A tiny room of my own in a lush green campus, with friends I chose and in a life I wanted. I had all the freedom I wanted, to decide the what, when, where, how, why and with whom of my life…
And then five years down the lane, I suddenly realized the other day, that despite all the freedom I had, I was still a creature of habit..... Deep down inside, I liked a certain predictability in my life, a rhythm, a pattern…
I hate getting up late and going to the lab late (no rule ever mentioned that and no one can force me to it but I go early cos I like it that way),
I hate staying up late - can't keep myself awake beyond ten or eleven on most days :( (a big complaint for all my friends and even i miss out on a lot of midnight movies and the pointless banter that happens at night)
I hate eating outside the mess (except of course on those rare days when I just want to binge)
I hate missing my two cups of strong filter coffee a day - this is my big and only addiction :)
I hate missing my newspaper (I seem to be unable to have my breakfast in peace without the newspaper)
I have a certain timing for my meals and don’t like them to change
I like my Monday to Saturday work plan with a break on Sunday :)
I like sleeping In my room (and my room only), with my blanket (they've been my sleeping partners for so long that i just miss them)
I like my room clean (and this fetish I am told borders on OCD but then, everyone is allowed one freakishness !!!)
I like reading before I hit the bed be it even for that minute or two before i drift off - I sleep with a book in a hand (and trust me, i do sleep reaaally fast... :) !! A blessing at times but then as with all other things, a nuisance at other times !! )
I can't eat without taking a bath (its weird but brushing alone does not help !!)
I am sure my friends can count out many more such habits (weird, crazy, irrational, habits, idiosyncrasies) which are so much a part of me that even i don't realize... !!
A few days back, I realized that deep down inside, I was a creature of habit like my parents had been… I was becoming parents.... I only wanted to pick and choose my habits, and not to be blindly led into them.
I guess, I am old now and lack the indiscipline and the brashness of a teenager. I guess I do like a sense of order in my life… !! But then, at the same time, it is not that I am ready for the mundane monotony of everyday life, staid and stagnant… Its not that I don’t want adventure or excitement or travel or any of those fun things… I do more so than ever BUT on my own terms.... At the same time then, I have a rhythm and I like being in that flow because it tells me deep down inside that all is well… I guess we all like that constancy in our life to suggest that things are normal and as usual... that the world is as it was yesterday and that I will get through it ...
And then, as the quarter century mark of my life approached, I moved away from home for my higher education (it was a long time ago now) and I came to a new city and set up my new world. A tiny room of my own in a lush green campus, with friends I chose and in a life I wanted. I had all the freedom I wanted, to decide the what, when, where, how, why and with whom of my life…
And then five years down the lane, I suddenly realized the other day, that despite all the freedom I had, I was still a creature of habit..... Deep down inside, I liked a certain predictability in my life, a rhythm, a pattern…
I hate getting up late and going to the lab late (no rule ever mentioned that and no one can force me to it but I go early cos I like it that way),
I hate staying up late - can't keep myself awake beyond ten or eleven on most days :( (a big complaint for all my friends and even i miss out on a lot of midnight movies and the pointless banter that happens at night)
I hate eating outside the mess (except of course on those rare days when I just want to binge)
I hate missing my two cups of strong filter coffee a day - this is my big and only addiction :)
I hate missing my newspaper (I seem to be unable to have my breakfast in peace without the newspaper)
I have a certain timing for my meals and don’t like them to change
I like my Monday to Saturday work plan with a break on Sunday :)
I like sleeping In my room (and my room only), with my blanket (they've been my sleeping partners for so long that i just miss them)
I like my room clean (and this fetish I am told borders on OCD but then, everyone is allowed one freakishness !!!)
I like reading before I hit the bed be it even for that minute or two before i drift off - I sleep with a book in a hand (and trust me, i do sleep reaaally fast... :) !! A blessing at times but then as with all other things, a nuisance at other times !! )
I can't eat without taking a bath (its weird but brushing alone does not help !!)
I am sure my friends can count out many more such habits (weird, crazy, irrational, habits, idiosyncrasies) which are so much a part of me that even i don't realize... !!
A few days back, I realized that deep down inside, I was a creature of habit like my parents had been… I was becoming parents.... I only wanted to pick and choose my habits, and not to be blindly led into them.
I guess, I am old now and lack the indiscipline and the brashness of a teenager. I guess I do like a sense of order in my life… !! But then, at the same time, it is not that I am ready for the mundane monotony of everyday life, staid and stagnant… Its not that I don’t want adventure or excitement or travel or any of those fun things… I do more so than ever BUT on my own terms.... At the same time then, I have a rhythm and I like being in that flow because it tells me deep down inside that all is well… I guess we all like that constancy in our life to suggest that things are normal and as usual... that the world is as it was yesterday and that I will get through it ...
Perhaps that's the reason or perhaps not .... !!!
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