The creed of greed ...

Contentment, satisfaction, being happy with what you are... these are all things that I have always aspired for... till of course recently I realized the flip side of it all.. !!! I have always asked for more, from myself, from life and from people around me... This has however never worked in my favor because i end up being called a perfectionist who frets over the tiniest details which probably will never make a difference and in the process I often end up making things difficult for the others around me.. But then the other day, in an attempt to try and motivate a friend, i realized that I was at a loss for words... She was always happy with what she was and what she had... She knew what she was capable of and what she was not... She didn't dream like me and she didn't fret and fume like me ... She was happy and confident... all things that i would have liked to be ... and it was perhaps for this reason that she didn't have a driving force to lead her forward. She knew what she had to do but she could never get herself to give that final push and take that final stride which often takes you across... She lacked the madness and the frenzy i had (and these were never my most cherished character traits)... I had always wished for a lackadaisical approach to life so that i wouldn't feel the anxiety, the stress and the pressure of everyday living. I have always had this engine in me propelling me forward, asking for more, driving me to achieve greater heights.... I barely manage to tick things off my wish list and i would be ready with more... there is soooo much i want to do before i say die... so, yeah, i ve always valued time and and i ve always asked for more and i ve been ready for that little bit extra effort.... that is why i have worked hard and that is why i can still work... because i dream... !!! I dream of being able to see the world, of flying, having my own home and a family, learning, reading and knowing all about the world, of being able to excel in all that i have ever wanted to, of being a good human being and a capable person ... and i dream of being able to all of this without being dependent on anyone... ambitious... ? So, I am ... but, then why crib when these dreams give me something to hold on to and to move on... Perhaps, contentment is not always a good thing !! Greed is probably also a virtue as it helps you stay motivated and working in the right direction... It helps you aim for the best and brings out the best in you... So, for now, I take recourse to being ambitious and greedy knowing however fully well the boundaries that need to be drawn in my pursuits...